Three: The Perfect Number of Choices

Early in my adult life, John ran across an article that stated that three choices was the perfect number to give someone. I was fascinated with this concept. Over the years, it has truly played out to be true.

What is the basic logic behind this?  People like choices, but not too many choices.  

Too many choices cause confusion.  Which should I choose?  What if I choose incorrectly? How do I compare all these options?  My brain can't comprehend how to make a decision with so much input.

Only two choices, your mind will worry that you chose wrong and should have picked the other one. 

Three seems to be the perfect number. To use Goldilocks... one is too hard and one is too soft, so the last choice is just right.  In other words, your brain can do a process of elimination, easily deciding that two options are not right which leaves the third option as the perfect answer.  No need to second guess the choice, because you used a process of elimination to come to a decision your mind can live with.

Three being the magic number seemed way too easy.  John found this article before the internet, so I had to do a little private testing of my own to see if this really was true.  I would give people two options and a lot of times they would veto both and ask for other options.  I would give them four or more and they would ask me to whittle down the choices.  It became apparent that the power of three was a real thing. In today's world, if you google the power of three you can fall down a rabbit hole.  Writers, marketers, comedians, business strategist, etc. have posts and websites dedicated to this concept.

You can use this for yourself also. Not sure what to have for dinner?  Give yourself three choices and see how fast your mind can delete two.  Not sure what to wear to work?  Pull three shirts and suddenly, you know exact what would work best that morning.  Not sure which bird feeder you want from amazon, put three of them in your cart and suddenly, you can delete two pretty easily.  

I am constantly shocked how many times this little trick of three works.  Every now and then, for the fun of it, I give people four to five choices and watch their brain work.  Then, I offer to eliminate one or more to get them to three and suddenly, they can make a choice.  

So, save yourself time and if someone asks you for options, give them three.  Don't expend any extra energy to come up with more options. They will be happiest choosing between three things and your job will be done.  

I am not perfect

I know that none of you are surprised to read ... I am not perfect.

I am happy to admit to anyone that I make mistakes.  But, behind the scenes, I always wanted to be perfect. I honestly thought that if I tried hard enough, I could get close to perfect.

Boy… was I wrong.

The older I get, the more I realize how absolutely imperfect I am.  And, the happier I am in this awareness.

In the past, I worried about pretty much everything. Would everyone have a good time at my dinner party? Would my presentation be flawless? Were my house decorations acceptable? Did my clothes portray the right message? Was I being professional? On and on and on. If I realized that I had made a mistake at work or that one of the dinner guests didn’t like my dessert, I would fret for days.  I would try and determine what I could have done differently. I would stress more the next time when I had that friend over for dinner, or completed a similar work project. I would say “sorry” more than I should. I honestly felt bad if I planned an outside event for work or for friends and it rained or the weather was not perfect.  Yes… I was that neurotic.

I was a hot mess.

As I have gotten older, I have worked to understand that not being perfect is part of being human. It is okay to make mistakes. It is okay to dress in a style that suits me, but might not be fashionable.  It is okay to decorate my house in yard sale goodies and craigslist finds. It is okay to admit you made a mistake, without agonizing over it for days. It is okay if it rained on my outside event.

I learned that people will still respect me if I am not perfect. They will still come to my house for dinner if the meal is not what they hoped for and the chairs are second-hand specials. They will be my friend when I stumble and fall. I honestly believe that people find it easier to be around me, now that I am not always striving to be perfect.

I am not perfect.  And with that comes learning from my mistakes, embracing my flaws and loving the person I am, flaws and all.

Embracing My Inner Crazy Cat Lady - Loving Your Pets

For years, I didn’t want to be considered a “crazy cat lady”.  I have cats and I love them - but I would never be "that type of crazy cat lady".

For the last few decades, I have enjoyed having two or three cats at any given time. Yet, I hated the perception that I was one of “those” ladies. I believed a pet enhanced your life and your job was to feed them and love them, but not to turn your life around for them; they were just pets after-all.

I think I did an injustice to my early cats. I treated them well and spoiled them often, but I was hesitant to totally commit to being a great pet owner. I didn’t feel like I should change our lifestyle to better fit theirs. I figured my friends and family would visit my house and make fun of me for having a cat-friendly house.

Then, a little over a decade ago, my husband and I were lucky enough to attend some behind the scenes classes at our local zoo. We learned from the zookeepers that animals need more enrichment.  We hadn’t really heard that concept before.  As we saw the variety of ways zookeepers were enriching different animal groups, we realized that we were not really enriching our cats, we were just caring for them.

We decided to work on improving our cat's lives. We figured that if we chose to adopt them ... we needed to be better guardians of not only their health, but their mental well-being.

We lucked into a few cat condos at various garage sales. We moved our chairs away from the windows and put their condos at the windows. I purchased them a window seat that I move around to different windows in the house. We started rotating toys and boxes. We began making time to play string with them or teach them simple tricks.

We were amazed at the difference it made with our cats. They are more active than most of our previous cats. They seem to stay younger, longer and appear healthier. They are more engaged with us. They play with each other more than our previous groups did.  We comment to each other, often, that we feel like much better pet guardians these days.

From my cats to you … please, give yourself permission to totally embrace making your pet(s) a true part of your family. They deserve it and will reward you for your efforts.

Lessons Learned - Getting Out of Debt

Many years ago, John and I got ourselves into debt. The internet was not a thing back then, so for help, we went to the local consumer credit counseling service.

It was brutal! They were tough!

It took a few years to get out of trouble and it took a few more years to get good at using their advice. They taught us a lot of great things and to this day, this experience changed our lives for the better.

Looking back, here are some things I still remember and try to live by:

• Track your spending.
• You can’t know what part of your income is needed to pay bills versus what part of your income can be considered disposable.
• Embrace budgeting.
• Make a game of it, “can I meet my budget”. It gets easier. It also gets more exciting the more times you meet or exceed your budget goals. 
• Think of it like Candy Crush, the more you match things, the more fun it becomes and the larger prizes you obtain.
• Remember to budget for future events (trips, larger purchases, home improvements, etc).  {If you are planning a trip, remember to check out my blog on “extra vacation cash - made easy”.}
• Pay yourself.
• Put a little money each month into a retirement or investment fund; your future self will thank you.
• Learn not to waste money on the extras.
• I love a good coffee drink or blizzard as much as anyone, but I learned that I don’t need one daily or weekly. I treat myself only every month or so. 
• Not only do I save a bunch of money, but I enjoy the treat even more when I allow myself the indulgence.
• It is okay to buy second hand goods.
• As many of you know, my house is decorated with garage sale, flea market and Craigslist finds. I almost never pay retail for something new. My house won’t make the cover of decorators digest, but it is warm and inviting. My friends and family know if they spill or break something, there is a 99 percent chance I didn’t pay much for it and I will enjoy searching sales to replace it.

The best thing we learned was:

Material things don’t bring happiness.

• If you see a home decoration, clothing item or gadget you just “have to have”... think about it honestly. Do you have the disposable income to purchase this? Do you really need it to make you happy? Could you find it second hand? Could you buy a lower-grade/priced item? 
• We try to wait a week or two and then revisit the purchase we want to make. If it still seems like a good purchase and we have the funds, we purchase it.  Most times, we realized it was just a spur of the moment “need” and it passed and we can use the money for something else.