I am happy to admit to anyone that I make mistakes. But, behind the scenes, I always wanted to be perfect. I honestly thought that if I tried hard enough, I could get close to perfect.
Boy… was I wrong.
The older I get, the more I realize how absolutely imperfect I am. And, the happier I am in this awareness.
In the past, I worried about pretty much everything. Would everyone have a good time at my dinner party? Would my presentation be flawless? Were my house decorations acceptable? Did my clothes portray the right message? Was I being professional? On and on and on. If I realized that I had made a mistake at work or that one of the dinner guests didn’t like my dessert, I would fret for days. I would try and determine what I could have done differently. I would stress more the next time when I had that friend over for dinner, or completed a similar work project. I would say “sorry” more than I should. I honestly felt bad if I planned an outside event for work or for friends and it rained or the weather was not perfect. Yes… I was that neurotic.
As I have gotten older, I have worked to understand that not being perfect is part of being human. It is okay to make mistakes. It is okay to dress in a style that suits me, but might not be fashionable. It is okay to decorate my house in yard sale goodies and craigslist finds. It is okay to admit you made a mistake, without agonizing over it for days. It is okay if it rained on my outside event.
I learned that people will still respect me if I am not perfect. They will still come to my house for dinner if the meal is not what they hoped for and the chairs are second-hand specials. They will be my friend when I stumble and fall. I honestly believe that people find it easier to be around me, now that I am not always striving to be perfect.
I am not perfect. And with that comes learning from my mistakes, embracing my flaws and loving the person I am, flaws and all.
This is valuable growth, and I applaud you for it as II have been witness to your journey. Yet there is another aspect: being OK when people aren't OK when you are not perfect. When you reach that point, you are truly free.
ReplyDeleteWorking on it. :)
DeleteLove this and see sooooo many similarities in my life
ReplyDeleteGlad you enjoyed this. Thank you very much for taking the time to read my blog.
DeleteCongratulations on the insight. Age does help. It is real growth to understand you don't need to apologize for the weather or mistakes beyond your control. It is even better to realize that we're not all looking for the same results so you don't need to feel bad if your actions don't please everyone.
ReplyDeleteYes... it is one good thing about getting older. :)
DeleteThis totally resonates with me........ yay, there is someone out there that thinks just like me!! 😊 Thank you for sharing!
ReplyDeleteThank you - for taking the time to read my blog.
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