Your stuff should bring you joy

A friend of mine called me to her house the other day.  They were having the house painted and she wanted my advice on what to hang back on the walls and what to change.  She had a shelf of cups/saucers that she thought maybe should be boxed up.  For as long as I can remember, that shelve has been 100% used for cups/saucers.  I said that she could pull a knick-knack from another room, and put that on the shelf.  Keep maybe two to three of her favorite cup/saucers on the shelf and maybe put one or two sets elsewhere in the house. She wasn't sure, as she felt they belonged together.  She wondered if it would look strange to have them scattered around the house.  I told her that the things she sees around her house should bring her joy.  Didn't matter if that meant your house was not perfectly decorated.  Like items didn't need to be grouped together.  Joy was more important.

This conversation made me realize how often we modify our stuff to look "correct" for our guests. Or, what we think will look right from the eyes of others.  Why do we do this?  We should be embracing the stuff that brings us joy and make sure they are front and center in our daily lives.

To this end, I pulled a few old toys from my keepsake box and put them in my office.  I put some of my flamingo items in my bathroom, even though the bathroom is decorated with a Paris-theme.  I added a fun bird pillow to my office guest chair, that totally doesn't match anything else in the room, but brings me joy when I look at it.

I am guessing, that when I have friends over, they might look around and think "wow... she has no decorating style."  Honestly, I am okay with that.  I know in my heart that they won't stop being my friend or stop coming to my house because my style is weird.  I know they probably won't even say anything about it.  And, if they do, I will tell them that I am surrounding myself with joy and give them a big smile.   

So, if the stuff in your house doesn't bring you joy... it is time to replace it.  Or, if the stuff that brings you joy is hidden from your daily view ... move it.  Everything doesn't have to be perfect or matchy-matchy.  Embrace the "joy" concept and see how much more you enjoy spending time in your rooms.

If you enjoyed this post, please check out some of my other posts:

Life Shapers

My journey to be “Smiley” again

Exorcising school-age demons

I listen to a lot of audiobooks. Most of them are murder mysteries that are included with my Kindle Unlimited account.  It is amazing to me how many of these star people that return to their home town and face their demons (while solving a murder or being investigated for the murder).  They face their grade school and high school nemesis while dredging up various memories of their past.

And, as some of you that follow my blog posts might remember, I wrote a blog post regarding my picture / keepsake box project.  This made me confront pictures of some people I treated badly and some that treated me badly.  It is weird how keepsakes can cause good and bad memories to creep back into your consciousness.  

We all have demons from our past that haunt us. Most seem to come from being school-aged.  What amazes me is how long we can carry these feelings and how they shape our lives far into adulthood.  

If I could go back to my young adult self, I would ask her to exorcise her school demons much earlier.  I would tell her:

• Growing up is full of social situations that go sideways.
• Most bullies were very scared children, that lashed out to help ease their own pain.
• I was bullied, but I was also a bully - depending on the situation and the children involved..  
• All of us were insecure and scared of making mistakes.
• The popular girls and boys did not always lead the magical lives we thought they did.
• Almost every time I thought people were talking about me, they probably weren't.
• My fashion sense (or lack there of) meant absolutely nothing to anyone but me.
• Having the perfect book binder, book bag or other gadget did not make me a better person, friend or scholar.
• Fretting over everything brought me nothing but upset stomachs; fretting never changed the situation.
• People don't always act out of hatred or malice, even if it seems that way. Children can be cruel, but seldom mean it as badly as we take it.

As I have listened to the audiobooks, many of the characters come to realize that their school mates were not as bad as they thought.  They were battling their own demons.  Many characters figure out that the memories they had been carrying for so long, were not even close to the reality of the situation(s).

During my own walk down memory lane I realized that at times, I really was the bully. I said and did hurtful things. I saw situations wrongly. I reacted badly due to ignorance or pride. I also allowed others to hurt me because I was unsure of my own inner strength. 

I came to understand that it is more than time to let it all go. I apologize to anyone I might have hurt along the way. I hope that anyone I did hurt, has realized that I didn't mean it and I certainly never wanted to scar anyone for life.  I forgive anyone that hurt me; the scars they left have healed.

I am sure we all wish we were better as children, but I believe it is a part of growing up and finding our way in the world. It is time to just enjoy the person we have become and thank that younger self for surviving it all. It is time for healing, forgiveness and understanding.

If you enjoyed this post, please check out some of my other blog posts:

Stop fretting over your decisions

People are People

Lesson Learned - An oversized mousepad solved my desk issues

Awhile back, I realized that my mousepad was really not doing it for me. It seemed like I was always running my mouse off the edge of my mousepad.  It never seemed to be big enough sitting to the right of my keyboard.  I tried to move the pad around to help make it work, but nothing seemed to work.

I tried using the mouse on the desk, without a mousepad, but that had other issues that frustrated me.  

I am also a tough typist.  I learned on a manual typewriter, so I hit the keys much harder than I need to. (And sadly, trying to learn to type "easier/softer" is harder than it sounds.)  I tended to slide my keyboard often when typing.  

I tried a variety of things. One day I ran across an extended mousepad.  What an amazing thing. It is large enough to fit fully under my keyboard, stopping the sliding issue. It gives my mouse a ton of room to roam.  It solved all my issues.  And, it is colorful and makes me smile when I see it each morning.

Sometimes, a simple change can make all the difference.

If you enjoyed this blog, please check out:

Lessons Learned - Getting Out of Debt

Lesson Learned - Working out is a blessing; not a chore

Lesson Learned - Know when you are motivated and unmotivated