Get an answer – give an ego boost

I admit it ... asking people for help is VERY hard to do.  We all feel that asking someone a question makes us weak. Or, that people will think we are stupid.

I am here to tell you, that is just not true!

This is especially not true if it is something small and easy for the person to help with.

The reason behind this logic is simple … we all like to help. It feeds our ego and makes us feel smarter.

How many times has someone asked you for a file you have, a phone number you know or the name of that restaurant. These are easy and take almost no time to answer. And, if you are like me, you feel wonderful that you were able to help someone.

I am not suggesting that asking people to help you move or take care of your cats while you are on a three-week vacation will give the person the same sort of satisfaction. Giving them a chore is more than asking them a question or requesting something small.

I am also not suggesting that you stop thinking for yourself or trying to solve your own problems. And, if you are going to the same person time and again, with the same questions, that might require you take better notes (see my secret to life… better notes blog). 

Yet, if you are struggling with what might be an easy question for someone else, need advice on which picture to use for a blog post, or can’t find that document you hope they still have … ask a friend or co-worker. Text, IM or email them. Give them an ego boost and give yourself a break from searching for the answer.

Win/Win.

Capture Information As It Flies By

How many times do you wish you knew: when something happened, what the name of the play we saw last year was or when is my cat’s birthday?

In my blog post, Don’t know everything - that is OK, I spoke about reference libraries.  Now, I want to talk about using your electronic calendar as another reference library.

Calendars can be a great place to track long-term information. Unlike a few years ago, most online or electronic calendar systems today do not delete old items, which means you can search your calendar for all kinds of information.

As you see information fly by… post it to your calendar.  Here are some examples of what I store on my personal calendar and how I receive the information:

• Facebook or LinkedIn gives you a notification of a friend’s birthday or work anniversary. Grab that note and add it to your calendar. Then, next year when you see it, you can send them a note and make their day.
• You receive a baby notice from a family member.  Add it, along with the details of weight and height.  As that child ages, you will never forget those early details and can refer to them, when needed.
• You purchase a car. Add it and the notes that might be fun to remember each following year (mileage, dealership, etc).
• A friend passes away.  Add their death and each year you can remember them fondly and possibly reach out to their loved ones to tell them you are thinking of them.
• You adopt a kitten or puppy. Add the adoption date and information. 
• Add your haircuts, oil changes, happy hours, and other events. This allows you to search on when you did what and with whom.  
• Consider also adding a calendar item for the future event, as a reminder that you need another oil change or a happy hour with a friend.
• Create an event for when you got your new flooring or your kitchen remodeled. It will help create a list of major home improvements, should you need that information when you go to sell your house.
• Mark your calendar for when you go on vacation and make notes of what you saw or where you stayed. When you are asked about where you stayed or what you saw, you can refer to the calendar item notes to refresh your memory.
• Search local location websites and add any interesting or fun-sounding upcoming events. Add the URL to the event, so you can check the event for updates. Remember, you are not committing to attending the event. But, if you find yourself with nothing to do that day, you can see on your calendar that the local Renaissance Festival or Ice Sculpture Contest.
• Create a “kid count” of how many trick-or-treaters you have each Halloween. Modify the item every year to add the latest count.  This historical tracking will help you determine how much candy you need the next year.  Consider including weather and start/end times to help you with your planning.

Final reminders:

• It takes just a few moments to add an item to your calendar. 
• You can have them be recurring by week, month, year or whatever you need.  
• Your calendar doesn’t care what information you add to it - it makes no judgments. 
• If you don’t want to clutter your daily calendar, consider making a reference calendar.
• If you see a specific event and realize you no longer need it, then just delete it. 

Don’t Be Upset - None Of Us Are Mind Readers

At some point in my marriage, my husband looked at me and said, “how can you be mad at me for something you thought I should be doing”.  I am guessing some of you out there have had this same conversation (or thought) with a spouse, a friend, a co-worker, or a housemate.

Yes, I admit it - I was mad because I hinted that he should take care of some chore. And, of course, because he is not a mind reader, he didn’t do it. 

My thought, “if he cared about me, he would know what I was thinking and do it”.
His thought, “if she asked me, I would do it because I care about her”.

What an eye opening conversation this was.

As humans, we somehow think that people that know us well, care about us, and spend time with us, should just “know” what we want. Then, we get our feelings hurt when people can’t read our minds. What a horrible situation we are creating for ourselves. Over time, I started to realize that hoping people would read my mind was causing me stress, disappointment and anguish.

I must admit, the comment didn’t really take hold immediately, though I wish it had.

But, I have learned over the years to ask what I want. I ask clearly and I give a time frame for how quickly I need it.  “John, can you do xx by tomorrow morning?”.  If he says, “yes”, I even offer to send him a note on the task, if he doesn’t do it immediately.  This way, it helps him remember what is being requested. I do the same with friends, family and co-workers. 

Now… if John doesn’t do it by tomorrow morning - then, he is in trouble.  😊

Don’t know everything - that is OK

This blog goes out to my mom.  She always told me that I didn’t need to have all the answers, I just had to know how to find them.  Of course, she was actually just hoping I would just learn how to utilize the library index card system or open our encyclopedias, but she did give me the lifelong ability to find answers.

Yes… things have changed a lot since my early days of researching questions.  Reference books no longer fill my bookshelves and articles I pulled from magazines no longer fill my filing cabinet.  But, truly, the concepts are the same.

I will start with my favorite way to find an answer - Google searching.  Yes, as some of you might know, this is sort of my superpower.  I spent years and years perfecting my ability to search Google. The trick is wording your search and then following the rabbit hole till you find the answer.  Sometimes I start with a simple word and see what comes up. The displayed links might lead me to refine my search. Depending on the need, I will change my search to be videos, images or all. And, depending on the reason for my question and the accuracy of the information needed, I will conduct more research to ensure the quick answer I found is actually the correct answer (as we all know - not everything on the internet is true).

My second way of finding answers - reference material. The most important thing to remember with reference materials is having a system you trust and understand. Nothing is more frustrating than knowing you saw that information, but having no idea where you put it.

Here are some ways I store my reference material, be it emails, pdfs, hand written notes, receipts, project documents, etc. If you utilize a different system, please let me know. I might love your way better and modify what I am doing. 

With all my storage areas, I have a main folder called “reference material” (or something similar). I then create specific sub-folders to make finding information easier. Important note: if you are saving things that might be important for years to come, ensure you have a good backup system of your electronic reference library(ies).

• Email:
• I tend to save things in my email folders that I think I might need at any given time. I am almost never without my cell phone, so I could retrieve the information more easily if it is with me. 
• Computer:
• If it is something that I will only need when I am at a computer, I save it to my computer folders. Sometimes I take a picture of notes I make on that happy hour napkin. Others are emails that I think I might need, so I just save them to a pdf and file them in the appropriate sub-folder. Some are pdfs I create of documents people send or invoices I receive from vendors. 
• URLs:
• I am a big fan of my bookmark bar in Chrome, but I also have some reference sites that I know I need just every now and then. I save them to a folder so I can find them easily.
• Paper Files:
• Occasionally I do need to save a paper file. I have a box of manila folders that I use for these documents and I either throw the folder in my filing cabinet or my fire safe.

I still keep a few of my favorite printed reference books in my library, though now they are more for looks than for necessity. They do bring back wonderful memories of past searches.