Lessons Learned - 2020

What would the end of the year be, without a recap.  I am sure you are like me - you both love and dread these recaps. They shows us all the things we enjoyed and wish we could repeat.  They also shows us what was bad and what we would love to forget.

This year certainly has been a struggle. It is hard to reflect on this year and not feel bitter and angry.  This really has been a hard year. Yet, I think there are many things to appreciate about 2020. 

Here are the things I learned in 2020 (in no particular order).

• Friends and family are essential. 
• Getting to touch base with my family and friends took on a special meaning this year. I have always tried to appreciate my friends and family, but this year, I realized just how truly important they are to me. I am grateful for any time I get to spend with them, any note I receive from them, or any time I get to talk to them. Not seeing them all regularly made our get-togethers even better.
• Being outside is awesome.
• I have always needed fresh air and sunshine. This year, I realized that the more I got of both, the better I felt. I learned to embrace long walks in the park. I loved my time on the patio with John. Just taking a drive with the top down made me smile.
• People are clever.
• I was never a big YouTube watcher, but this year, I loved watching the clever skits and songs people created to help make us smile. Cat videos, squirrel obstacle courses, mashups, and the Holderness Family kept my mood positive. There were also so many fantastic websites showing pictures, memes, and sharing knowledge.
• I am okay.
• Normally, I kept so busy that I never really had to spend much time with myself. This year, I have learned to spend a lot of time with myself. I am no substitute for dinner with a good friend or close family member... but I am decent company.  I can sit alone and not go crazy. I can be reflective and stay positive. I can complete puzzles and get joy from the accomplishment. I can read on the porch or just watch the birds at the feeders.  I can find joy in the peacefulness.
• A good job and co-workers should be celebrated.
• I am always grateful when I am lucky enough to have a good job and kind co-workers, but this year has really sharpened my thankfulness. Early in the pandemic, I feared for my job. My co-workers and supervisors gave me peace of mind and showed me that they appreciated me.  They found a way to keep me on staff. It meant so much to me. I appreciate having something to do to fill my days.  And, the support I receive from all of my teammates helps make the days brighter.
• My cats fill me with joy.
• It is almost like our cats know we were struggling this year. They seem more playful. They seem more willing to sit on my lap and just enjoy the quiet with me. They serve as good co-workers and spend their days sleeping in my office. 

Don't get me wrong, this year has been tough, but I have been exceptionally lucky. I am blessed in so many ways. The lessons I learned from 2020 will hopefully stay with me for the rest of my life.  

As this year comes to an end, please take time to find the positive lessons you learned and carry them forward.  

Know Your Email Audience

I love email. I was made for email. I am not good on the phone. In person, I get nervous and tend to speak too much or clam up entirely. Email was a godsend to me. 

Early on, I learned the most valuable lesson of email - know your audience.

When I owned Pretty Good Toys, crafting a strong email became extremely necessary to make a sale. Many of my return customers told me they returned because my emails made ordering easy (back then online shopping carts had not been invented yet and they all ordered through email). 

It was and still is an ongoing struggle to ensure I write informative and strong emails.  Work emails are totally different than personal emails. Emails to co-workers are different than emails to supervisors and executives. Personal emails to your parents are different from emails to your best friend. 

In an ever growing world of virtual communications, you cannot rely on your charming personality to win people over. People will judge you based on your written words. Trust me, people will avoid working with you if your emails are cumbersome, confusing or unhelpful. They will appreciate you more if you answer their emails quickly and tailor your response to fit their need and their email style. People will read your new emails to them, if they have enjoyed your emails in the past. 

Here are the email lessons I have learned (in no particular order):

• Use a descriptive subject/title on your email.
• If your email is important and/or going to executives, project leaders or large groups:
• Reread your email before you send it.
• Be concise; executives and groups don't need fluff, they only want the information they need to know.
• Use good grammar and good spelling; no inappropriate words (remember, emails last forever and can be forwarded and copied to others).
• Clearly mark any task(s) your readers are supposed to complete and provide them the due date for their task(s).
• Avoid acronyms or slang, unless you know your audience understands the meaning.
• Write as though you were explaining yourself to a child. Emails are harder to fully understand, since there are no visual or verbal clues. Ensure you are clear in the who, what, where and when parts of your email.
• Use bullet points when listing multiple items, ideas or suggestions.
• Use short sentences and small paragraphs.
• Use bold and colored text sparingly, as needed, to emphasis a point.
• Try to avoid all caps, unless you really do need to stress a word or idea. 
• Unless you know your audience well, use one email for one thought/discussion. If you have another conversation you need to have with the person, open a new email with a new topic/subject line for the new question or comment.
• If your email recipient uses niceties (thanks, good day, cheers, etc.), you should use them also.  If they get straight to the point, then remove the "extras" from your emails.
• Use emojis and graphics carefully. Sometimes a good picture or emoji is the perfect thing to make your email stand out or be better understood.  Sometimes, emojis are just too much and should be avoided. 
• If you are replying to an email, ensure you read the original email carefully and make sure your reply is appropriate to the original topic(s).  Answers all questions and provides all information requested. 
• Provide any extra information that you know should be shared, based on the original email.

This all sounds easy and intuitive, but trust me, I am still working to improve my skills in this area. I still see some horrible emails. I still occasionally send emails that are confusing or don't really answer the question(s) asked. I think improving my email skills will be a lifelong pursuit.

Better notes ... better friendships

If you have been following my blog since the beginning, you might have read my very first blog "The secret to life... better notes".  I bring this up because I whole-heartedly believe that good notes make my life so much better.  I wanted to expand on how notes also make me a better friend.  

All of us hear comments from our friends that we know we should follow-up on.  For example, a friend says, "my sister is suffering from cancer" or "I am going in for surgery next month".  In your mind, you think, I need to remember that and ask about her sister or ask how surgery went.  

Remember ... your mind is a terrible place to store a note or task.  

Your mind only seems to remember to remind you about your friends at 2 a.m. or while you are in the shower.  It never reminds you when you are sitting at a computer and could send an email, or when you are on the phone with them or visiting with them.

This is where a note comes in.  When I hear or see something from a friend that is important, I create a task to follow-up with them.  If it is a phone call or personal discussion that needs to happen, I create a note "@Linda".  I fill the @Linda with items that I need to talk about with Linda, in person, next time we are together.  When I see her - I pull up that task and then I am assured I won't forget an important topic.  

If your friend is doing something longer-term, create a task that is recurring.  For instance, if your friend is job hunting, set a reminder to check in on them weekly or monthly to see how the search is going.  Let them know you are thinking of them.

There is no shame in admitting that your mind is horrible at reminding you of important things. As a good friend, it is not important how you remembered to ask about something ... just that you did remember.

You are not alone.

I started writing this blog as a work project back in 2018.  I needed to learn about how blogging and social media promotion worked. I wrote a few and learned what I could and then stopped writing my blog posts.

Enter Covid. I found I needed a creative outlet while I social distanced from my friends and family. I began writing my blog again.

I started with the same concept of simple suggestions. I found that some of my blogs were more personal and not necessarily a simple suggestion.  I realized that some were being written because I was trying to work through something personal.  I had issues I was dwelling on and writing about them helped me deal with them. Some of the blogs scared me as I wrote them because I started to realize things about myself that I was unsure about, or was even trying to hide from myself.  

I posted these more personal blog posts and my readers sent me the most amazing notes. They told me how they have struggled with the same issue. Or, they shared that they have been having the same thoughts.  

You can't imagine how helpful it was to realize that I was not alone.

Sometimes I struggle with an issue and I don't want to burden a friend or family member with my thoughts. Sometimes I like to pretend that my life is perfect and I have no issues. 

I have been reminded of a valuable lesson this year... it is okay to have issues.  It is okay to mention them to others.  Sometimes speaking about my issues, helps others. 

Thanks to all my blog readers and their support. It helps more than you know.

Money Well Spent

In the past, I have written on getting out of debt and saving money. And, most of you know I love buying things at garage sales. I am guessing that some of you are thinking that I am very frugal.  

Nothing could be further from the truth.  

I am happy to spend money on things that are important to me or things that help enhance my life. I will cheerfully pay for a wonderful vacation or a fun weekend at a Renaissance Festival or Oktoberfest.  I enjoy a good meal with friends and family. I will happily spend money to throw a party.

I will also gladly pay my cleaning lady and my lawn service.  To me, this is money well spent. I feel like my cleaning lady not only helps keep my house in order, but helps my marriage. John and I do not have to fight over whose turn it is to vacuum or clean the toilet. And, we get to enjoy the time we would spend cleaning - doing something fun. Since neither of us likes to clean, it is best left to a professional.  

Same thing with the lawn service.  Though, in this case, it is more a health issue than a marriage saver.  Our sinuses get too beat up when we mow. 

I have heard from some friends that now that we work from home, we could save a ton of money if we started mowing our lawn and cleaning our house.  Yes, that is true.  Yet, I honestly feel that while we can afford it, employing others keeps us healthier and happier.  I often joke that I would take a second job to continue to afford my cleaning lady and my lawn service.  I enjoy working much more than cleaning or mowing.

In the end, it really is worth it to spend money on things that enhance your life.  We each view this differently and that is okay.  There is no right or wrong, as long as you are not putting your financial future at risk with your decisions.  Embrace and enjoy your financial decisions ... I know we do.