Many of us played the game "telephone" as a kid (or as a communication exercise at work). Telephone is where you tell someone a statement, and everyone has to pass it along to another person. The last person in the chain has to share what they heard. The beginning statement and the ending statement are never the same. We each hear things different and then put our spin on it when we pass it along.
Some classes I have taken over the years have also shown me how my life experiences change the way I process things each and every day. I put my spin on what I see and what I do, based on what I have seen and done in the past.
The other day I was watching a film called "Flipped". It is a romcom based on two grade school kids and how they view their relationship. It was really interesting the way they showed how each person's view of the exact same event.
This movie reminded me how important it is to remember (every day) that:
- The way people share information with me depends on how they interpreted the original information.
- The way I hear or process information, is based on my past experiences.
- If I share the information, the people I share it with will bring their biases and perspectives to what I share.
- You never know the way people's pasts are affecting the way they are responding to you.
- If you see someone acting "out of character" in a certain situation, remember that something in their past might be causing the issue; or, something in your past may be affecting the way you are reading the situation.
No matter what, if you feel that someone might not understand what you are saying or why you are acting the way you are acting, discuss it with them. Ensure what you are explaining is really what they are hearing and understanding. Be aware that the way you think you are acting might be seen differently by everyone around you.
In all things, give each other grace. Everyone's past is different, and we all have different biases and beliefs that we bring to everything we hear, say and do.
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Communicating can be challenging when people tend to listen to reply versus listening to understand. Your suggestions for approaching situations with an openness is important, and I hope more people take the advice.
ReplyDeleteAgreed...listening to reply is something I work on daily - to not do. Sometimes it is hard. But, hopefully I am getting better at it. Thanks for taking the time to read my blog and comment.
DeleteGreat insights! Especially, the way we process information is past on our past experiences. Thanks for the reminder that working on being a good communicator is a daily intentional exercise!
ReplyDeleteThanks! Appreciate your comment and your gift of time in reading my blog.
DeleteBeing an intentional listener is always challenging with the best intentions. Reminders like these are valuable!
ReplyDeleteAgreed!!! Thanks for reading my blog.
DeleteYour blog provides great perspective and reminds us to pause, really listen hard and then inquire if how we heard something was accurate from the perspective of the person providing us the information.
ReplyDeleteAppreciate your reply and your time to read this blog.
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