Hobby … What is a Hobby?

I struggled with “what is a hobby?” for years.  What makes a hobby, a hobby?  What is a good hobby?  What is just a waste of time?

Many years ago, I was told by a few people and some classes I took, that I should find a hobby (or a few hobbies) to help calm my mind and my soul and allow myself to decompress.  Honestly, I found the idea of trying to find a hobby extremely stressful.  What was a good use of my time?  What constitutes a worthwhile hobby?

At the time, I thought that hobbies were crafts, playing an instrument, or joining a club. Something useful. Something that allowed me to grow as a person. I believed that a hobby should at the very least pay for itself or possibly make extra income.

Let’s face it, I was doomed. I am not crafty. I can’t play an instrument. I am not really a joiner. I struggled a lot to find something I was decent at, that didn’t cost a lot of money, and was a good use of my time.

I failed. Miserably.

I gave up the quest and just worked more or dove into home projects that would show benefits.

Spring forward a few years and I am in the same boat - people are telling me to find a hobby.  UGH.  I am starting to hate the concept of a hobby.

But, I knew people were correct. I decided to take a much different approach to finding this elusive hobby.  I asked people what they did for fun and relaxation.  I asked what they considered a hobby to be.  I searched the internet for hobby ideas.  Most importantly, I gave up on the concept that a hobby should be useful and make money.  I realized from listening to others, that hobbies were meant to be time wasters (and not in a bad way). They were truly meant to calm your mind and soul. They did not need to be useful or even worthwhile. They were just meant to allow me to relax and find a different kind of peace.  I didn’t even need to be good at the hobby, as long as I enjoyed it.

So, I took up puzzles and word games. I painted my yard animals. I embraced picking weeds out of my landscaping while listening to a book on tape.  I realized that walking was a hobby and so was reading.  I began reading books for fun again and taking long walks in the nearby park.

I began to understand that my interpretation of what a hobby was my true issue.  I gave the word so much weight, that it was destroying my ability to grasp its true purpose and meaning.

I have realized now, that it is okay to allow yourself to enjoy the very simple hobbies life has to offer.  There is no right or wrong hobby.  And, most importantly, hobbies do improve your mind and soul. You just have to embrace them for what they are...an activity done regularly in one's leisure time for pleasure.

I am thankful for...

What are you thankful for? 

I know it is getting harder and harder to find things to be thankful for. Many of us still have good health and that certainly something to be thankful for.  But, there are still horrible stressors continuing to consume our daily: the rise in Covid case numbers, the ongoing civil rights issues, the upcoming election, the uncertainty with jobs, etc.

It is overwhelming.

It can be really hard to remember that some things are still good in our lives.

I sent this to a few friends, back during the self-quarantine and thought it was worth sharing with you all.  If are you like me and struggling to stay thankful, complete either or both of these thankful lists. They will make you think, smile and hopefully give you a little peace during these trying times.

I am thankful for...
List items for each letter of the alphabet.
Examples:
A = Action Movies - which give me a great distraction now and then
Z = Zelda, Ziggy and Zoey - they are always a source of entertainment and love.

I am thankful for...
Complete the list below, or create your own list and share it with family and friends.

• Ability
• Activity
• Animal / Pet
• Book
• Color
• Event
• Family
• Food
• Friend
• Holiday
• Invention(s)
• Movie
• Music
• Object
• Person
• Place
• Season
• Something I Own
• Technology
• Thing(s) in Nature
• Vacation

My Covid-19 Scare

If you need a reality check that we are still fighting Covid-19 ... receive a note stating that someone you were near, has been diagnosed positive for having Covid-19.

John and I have been very careful during the Covid-19 pandemic. We have been social distancing and wearing masks. We have been watching our "circle of trust" carefully and generally only seeing small groups on patio parties. We have been doing our best to stay away from all things Covid.

Well, a short time ago, we went to a small outside party. We brought our own chairs and drinks. We sat somewhat near others, but we tried to remember to keep our distance.  Since it was an outside party, we didn't wear masks, but we honestly felt safe with the people we were visiting. The guests had been as careful as we had been and a few of them, we had seen once or twice since the outbreak, so we were fairly sure our circle of trust was solid.

Then, the note came that one person in the group tested positive.  Of course, I spoke to this person often during the party and sat near them for a portion of the get together.  And, of course, I suffer from sinus issues normally, so I suffer from many of the Covid symptoms by default.

Now, bring in the worry and panic. Although I know that I was outside and staying a decent distance from others, I can't help but wonder... do I have Covid?  The night I received the note, I laid awake wondering:

• Will I be one of those people who believes they are healthy enough to survive it and yet suffers horribly.
• What if I die?
• Is the fact I have troubles breathing because of my sinus issues - or Covid?
• How do I combat a tiny microorganism I can't see?
• Should I get tested? Or, wait for more symptoms?
• How will I afford the medical bills if I end up in the hospital for a month?
• What if John gets it?
• And... so on and so on.  I am sure you can only imagine what runs through your mind.

I then reminded myself:

• I am blessed.
• I have had an amazing life so far.
• I have a wonderful social circle.
• I have a great house for social distancing.
• I have a good job that allows me to social distance.

John and I canceled our few upcoming appointments and are in self-quarantine again. We are on our second week, so we are fairly confident that we did not contract it.  So far, no one else from the party has gotten it and the person that caught it, had a very mild case. 

I consider us all lucky. But, talk about a reality check.  I know with everything going on, Covid almost seems like an after thought and it is easy to think it is "over". Trust me, once you get a note that someone you recently spent time with is positive, you will remember it is out there and can kill you.

Stay healthy everyone.  

Keeping Kudos

Remember that amazing feeling you get when someone gives you a kudos? It warms your heart. Makes you feel special. Appreciated. Gives you an ego boost.

Fast forward to a bad day. You just know no one likes you. No one appreciates the hard work you are doing. No one cares that you went about five extra miles to do something that was then not needed. Where is the love? Where are the kudos? Where is the ego boost?

If you are like me, some days make it hard to remember ever being appreciated. It might feel like no one ever thanks you for anything. You are having a truly horrible day.

I recommend keeping your kudos.

There is nothing wrong or egotistical about wanting to remember and reflect on past praise. Honestly, it feels good to wander down your kudos memory lane.

• I have a few ways that I keep kudos.
• I have a folder that I keep at my desk with thank you cards or letters that I have received.
• When I had a cube, I kept the kudos notes pinned to my cube wall.
• I have an email folder that I put in thank you and kudos emails.
• I have a picture folder on my computer which includes pictures of flowers or plants that I have received as a thank you gift.
• I use a picture of my kudos cards or flowers as a lock screen or background on one of my devices.

When the going gets tough or I just need a smile, I pull out my card folder and look at the nice things people took the time to send to me. Or, I glance at my pictures and read my emails. It helps remind me that people do appreciate when you are helpful or kind. People do notice when you have gone the extra mile. Even if today is horrible, there is a very strong reason to continue to do my best. Out of the blue, someone might notice and even send you a thank you note. Embrace the kudos, you earned it

People are People

People are people. I forget this more often than I care to admit. I catch myself seeing people as better than me or, in some cases, worse than me. I place unfair expectations on some people and almost no expectations on others. I put some people on a pedestal, while hardly noticing other people. 

{Note: I have been struggling with this blog and have rewritten it many times over the course of many weeks. A good friend of mine reminded me that “blogging is a great way to work things out for yourself”.  I know this is true for this blog… I had a need to write this one.Sadly, I know the concept I want to share, but I am having issues explaining it. It either comes off as preachy or just plain ridiculous. Hopefully, this final rewrite works. I completed this before all the unrest occurred, but I think the basic premise holds true, now more than ever. Remember, I write these to be helpful and I hope you understand that as you read this.}

I was sitting on a call the other day with a high titled executive and some of my peers. I was nervous that I would say something silly and be judged. I expected the executive to be more knowledgeable than me and just give me my marching orders, as they say.  During the call, the executive requested our input on the project and genuinely appreciated our thoughts. The executive admitted they had not thought of some things we mentioned. The executive had internet issues and dropped from the call for a bit.  The executive could not put their hands on some documents we were referring to. The executive seemed embarrassed and flustered with the issues.

I was reminded how human we all are. We value the input of others, especially if it is something we had not thought of. We are all embarrassed when we have issues or cannot find information we should have right in front of us. It made me realize that I had put that executive on a pedestal that was unfair and unrealistic. Because of the title, I somehow expected “perfection”.

I realized that I had forgotten that people are people. We all have the same human characteristics.  We all have: fears, emotions, joys, goals, good days, bad days, loves, hates, wins, losses, disappointments, challenges, mistakes, celebrations, etc.

It doesn’t matter what you do for a living or who you are. You may be a: parent, teacher, gas station attendant, executive, assistant, official, blue collar worker, older adult, boss, spiritual leader, cleaner, professional, politician, warehouse worker, leader, retail associate, ditch digger, housewife, etc. No one is immune from human emotions.

We all have feelings and doubts. We have good and bad days. We want to be loved, respected, admired and cared about. We want others to like us. We have all made mistakes and want to be forgiven for these mistakes. We want the ability to be recognized for a job well done. We want to have a lazy Sunday now and then. We all own that ugly t-shirt or sweater that we love and wear around the house when we think we won’t see anyone that day. We all have a “guilty-pleasure” show or book we enjoy and we all enjoy a great joke. We all do embarrassing things in public. We all want to enjoy life.

The older I get, the more I realize that my parents (sorry mom and dad), bosses, friends, family and co-workers are all human … just like me. They fret over saying the wrong thing. They want to receive that unexpected note from a friend or invitation to lunch. They enjoy a random compliment. They have bad hair days. They want to share a secret or be asked their opinion on something. They also occasionally want to be left alone.

I work hard to try and remember that everyone I deal with is a person (both in good and bad ways). I try to remember that they deserve to be treated respectfully. They deserve the benefit of the doubt since I don’t know what sort of day they are having.

I think it is important to remember that we are all JUST people - nothing more; nothing less. People are people.