Stop fretting over your decisions

I used to spend a lot of time fretting over the choices I made - both big and small.  

• I should have ordered that other sandwich for dinner.  
• I should have picked that other color for my walls.  
• I should have purchased that other bird feeder. 
• I should have purchased that other car.
• I should have written that other blog this week.
• The list goes on and on.  

I am sure that many of you do the same thing.

Stop. 

Stop beating yourself up for what might have been. Enjoy the choices you make. Own them. Fretting over what could have been only detracts from what is. 

Early on in my marriage, I thought we might end up divorced over my trying to buy the perfect entertainment center. I bet I drove to over a dozen stores. I spent hours dragging John to various stores to look at my "final" choices. In the end, I ended up buying one of the ones I liked at the very beginning of my search. I really enjoyed it. Years later, when I bought a larger TV, this entertainment center no longer fit the new TV.  All those hours of fretting over it, and it was no longer going to work. When I bought the replacement entertainment center, I searched online and quickly found three I loved.  I ordered one online and never even touched it. It works great and I really enjoy this one too.  Probably took me 1/100th of the time to make this decision and I was able to spend that time doing other things I enjoy more than shopping for furniture.

I have learned a lot of truths over the years about fretting over decisions:

• Nothing lasts forever. Chances are good you will make a decision over the same thing numerous times in your lifetime.
• Use the power of three to help make the choices. Your mind will thank you.
• After a day or two, most of us can't even remember the other choices we could have made. 
• Embrace the choice you made. Enjoy it. Learn from it. Make an improved choice next time.
• Use the energy and time you save by not fretting over a decision, to do something you love.

Honestly, I am so much happier not wasting time beating myself up on the choices I could have made. I embrace and enjoy the choices I did make. And, if it isn't a perfect choice, it is certainly good enough - someday soon I will get to make a new choice.  

If you enjoyed this blog, please check out a few related topics:

Three: the perfect number of choices

There is another meal right around the corner

Don't sweat the small stuff... and it almost all small stuff

Full Circle

I was fortunate enough the other day, to be asked to give a training talk during an assistant community call.  These calls are held by the admins in my company and they consist of speakers sharing knowledge about company procedures, processes, software, etc.  I was honored to be chosen to speak on mailbox management and I had a very good time sharing my knowledge. 

After the talk, a few attendees reached out to me with questions.  During this same time, the community resource chat room the admins use had some questions I could also help answer.  I had a huge revelation that my life had come full circle regarding mentoring.  

When I first switched from waitressing to office work, my mom taught me all the basic skills to land a job (excel, word, etc.).  I started off working through temp agencies.  I figured I could build up my skills and determine what sort of work I might be good at and what sort of company I should try and work for.

Mom told me that once I got inside a company, I should try and find an older assistant to help mentor me.  I should listen closely to what that person had to say...I would learn a lot.

I was lucky enough to land a few longer term assignments early on.  I would search around and try and find the older assistants in my area, that I thought would be willing to help me.  I found some amazing people that were happy to help me.

I realized quickly that not only were they willing to share their business skills with me, but also their knowledge of how to behave in business.  How to ask and answer questions, how to read situations, how to interpret important information vs useless information, how to gain confidence in my abilities, etc.  It was an amazing education. To this day, I still use a lot of the skills they taught me.  I am grateful to them all.

As I was answering a question from one of the attendees, I realized that I had come full circle.  I was now the older assistant, trying to help others.  Once I got over the shock of realizing I was now the "old" assistant in this story... I realized I had a really big smile on my face - knowing that someday, someone I helped out, would share their knowledge with the others in their work life and the cycle of mentoring (formally and informally) would continue.  

So, if you are young and just starting out... take advantage of us "old" folks... we have knowledge to share.  If you are one of us "older" folks... please help those following in your footsteps.  You might change a life for the better. And, no matter what age you are, don't be afraid to ask for help and continue to learn from the people around you.

If you enjoyed this topic, here are some of my prior blogs you might also enjoy:

Never Stop Learning

Share Your Knowledge

Critter Painting

Last fall, as I prepared for winter, I had the bittersweet job of bringing in all my yard critters.  I love the look of all my colorful yard decorations, scattered throughout the yard. But, I know they can't survive the winter and it does give me the fun project of cleaning them up over the winter and repainting them. 

As many of you might have read in my blog, "Hobby … What is a Hobby?", I enjoy painting yard decorations. The spring and summer storms take their toll on my critters, so each winter, I get to give them all a total makeover. 

First, I bring them into the garage and stack them on a shelf. I let the holidays go by and usually in January or February, I bring them in and clean them all.  Then, I bring out the paints and go to work.

I used to try and keep them sort of muted. I thought the neighbors would appreciate it if my yard was not overly colorful and "weird".  But, as the years have gone on, many neighbors have stopped me and commented on how much fun it is to drive or walk past my house and see all the fun decorations and the bright colors. So, now they all get bright, fun paintjobs.  

During the 2020 (covid) spring, I even pulled some of the items in and painted encouraging words on them (smile, laugh, love, be happy, etc.).  More neighbors stopped to tell me how much they appreciated the joy they felt when they saw my stuff.  I could tell that I was actually helping people smile.

The best part of all was when I pulled in my critters, I had two new little frogs hiding in my front rock area.  I don't need to do a ton of landscaping work in that area, so I hadn't noticed them before. They were cute little guys, that someone had shared with me.  I can't tell you how touched I was.  

This winter, I have given everyone a cleaning and a fresh coat of paint.  They are all bright and cheery and ready to go out back out into the yard.

I encourage you all to find a wonderful hobby that brings joy to yourself - and maybe others. It pays off in ways you never imagined.

Share Your Knowledge

I was on a call with some executive assistants I work with.  We were discussing sharing knowledge.  We all agreed that sharing knowledge certainly helped make our jobs better / easier.  Yet, we agreed that most people are very scared to share their knowledge.

Why is this, I thought?

I believe it is for a variety of reasons.  Most of them probably aren't truly valid.  Or, if they are, maybe the presentation of the knowledge could be modified to help making the sharing easier.

• If I share too much about how I do my job, the company won't need me and can replace me with someone cheaper.
• I can honestly say that I have never heard anyone say they got fired for sharing knowledge.  I have never heard of anyone getting laid off, only to be replaced by someone that was given your body of knowledge and taught to do the job for cheaper.  
• After all, if you are good at what you do, you are probably faster and more efficient at using the knowledge you have, which allows you to get more things done. Your supervisors know this.
• I don't want to come off as a know-it-all.
• This one is tricky.  You have to choose the right forum for sharing knowledge (i.e., if someone asks, if you are part of a best practices group, if you are teaching a class, if the conversation lends itself to your sharing what you know, etc.)
• Most people are open to learning new things, especially if it helps save them time, money or effort.  Just ensue that your knowledge fits their needs.
• It took me years to figure this out, why should I just "give" this knowledge away?
• I certainly understand this one and appreciate the efforts people put into gaining knowledge.  But, this also seems somewhat selfish to me. If sharing information would honestly help another person, then I believe you should share it. It is just the kind thing to do. 
• And... most people really don't "believe" you the first time you share with them.  They will still have to learn it for themselves over time.  They will have to determine how it fits into their life. You are really just giving them a starting point for accepting the knowledge.
• What if my knowledge is wrong?
• This is an easy one.  Just explain that you experienced this or read this, but you are not 100% sure it will help them or work for them.  
• Again, knowledge shared does not equate to knowledge used.  Each person will need to do their own bit of investigating and testing to utilize the information you shared.
• What if they don't find it useful.
• You have lost nothing by sharing. If they don't use what you shared, it must not be the right time for them to need the knowledge.  
• You have showed them you care enough to share with them.

Overall, I believe sharing knowledge - with people that are open to learning - is a wonderful gift.  I hope people will give it willingly.

Vacation Memories...Treasure the Experiences

Traveling is one of my passions.  I have been lucky enough to travel often (and hopefully, I will get to travel again next year).  I have gotten to take some larger trips and spend time overseas. I have also been truly blessed and taken trips with my family and friends.

These trips have given me amazing memories. 

After one of my first trips, I was discussing with a friend how to best capture these memories in a way that I could view them often and remember all the great times.  She suggested a memory trip collage. I hadn't heard of such a thing... but I was certainly open to the idea. I had picked up various brochures of attractions we visited, business cards or menus of restaurants we enjoyed, along with other tickets, flyers and such from the trip. She suggested that I cut these up and create a collage of them.  I loved the idea.

I took a map of the area we visited and used that as the base. I trimmed the various items and laid them around the map.  I glued everything down and then put the collage in a nice glass frame.  I hung my first trip collage on the wall at the top of my stairs.  It was perfect.  I smile every time I go up the stairs and see the reminder of the amazing trip.

We have filled the wall with trip collages and we had to put our last trip on a new wall.  I love the constant reminders of all the places I have seen, the attractions we visited and the good food we enjoyed.

I stop occasionally and really take a deep look at a random one ... and remember all the small things that made the trip spectacular.