Take your ego out of it

Take your ego out of it. This concept is hard to do.  I get it.  But, if you can do it - you will be so much happier.  Much less stressed.  Less jealous.  And, gain greater satisfaction from inside yourself. Your ego is really not your friend.

How do I know this? What does this look like? 

I learned this over years of owning my own business.

• 
  Customers tend to only complain; seldom compliment.
• Don't let your ego get hurt by this - it is human nature.
• You realize that if a customer returns, you did something right.  
• You have to make every decision - the good, bad and ugly.
• You can't allow your ego to make decisions or you will never learn from the bad and ugly decisions; you will only want to make decisions that feed your ego. Your business cannot survive this way.
• As the owner and operator, you don't waste time complimenting yourself.
• Your ego can't be stroked easily by yourself; all you can do is be satisfied that you are making money and providing a good service.
• Your are responsible for all parts of the job - the good, bad and ugly.
• Since there was no one to delegate to, I had to learn to appreciate completing the really dreaded parts of the job. I learned that completing the bad and ugly was rewarding.

Then, I closed my businesses and decided to go back to working in the office world.  

The wonderful lady that was retiring, was training me for my new role. During the training, she often said that I should remove my ego from the role.  She explained:

• The team would host many lunches, dinners, special events and customer outings. I would not be included. 
• It was no personal, it was just the nature of the business.
• The team had worked together for decades and were a well oiled machine.
• Ego stroking was not a thing, since they had all done their jobs for so long.
• I was there to serve the team and they basically took this for granted.
• Therefore, compliments were few and far between.
• Most of the job duties were owned solely by me.
• No one really knew what it took to complete the tasks, so kudos were not considered necessary.
• There were good, bad and ugly tasks to complete with this role.  
• Again... no one to delegate to so I continued to appreciate just getting the job done.

I loved owning my own company and I really loved working for the team.  I learned so much. There were so many great people in both worlds.  But, after 20 years of almost no ego stroking, I learned to take my ego out of the jobs / tasks and just get the work done.  

What a blessing this is!  How freeing this is! Stepping into my current job with basically no ego is freeing.  

• This allowed me to take on roles that many people would shun, since I was used to doing anything to get the job done.  
• These roles opened doors to better roles. 
• I found it easy to support anyone that needed support without caring about titles.
• This opened doors for other executives and teams to want to work with me.
• No job was too small or lame.
• This gave me access to all sorts of new experiences, which allowed me to grow my skillset.
• I was happy to allow other people to take the credit for projects and teamwork. 
• I had learned not to care about getting the credit - I had gotten all the credit (both good and bad) during my previous roles.
• This made my peers and co-workers more willing to help me when I needed it.

Taking my ego out of my day-to-day life has helped me personally, also:

• I no longer feel rejected or snubbed if people don't include me.
• Usually this just means I am not needed for the particular event, project, or dinner; it is not personal.
• I can embrace my inner crazy cat lady, my colorful yard decorations, my garage sale furniture, etc.
• I enjoy these things for myself; with no worry what others think.
• I can listen better and enjoy my friends and family.
• I don't need to be the center of attention to get my ego stroked.
• I am no longer jealous when someone gets kudos that possibly should have been mine.
• I can be happy for them and know that they must have needed the recognition more than I did.  
• I can be honored for being near them to enjoy their "win". 
• I can remind myself that I don't do things for the kudos or ego stroke, but for the joy it brings me internally.

Over the years I really have learned that my ego actually worked against me more than it helped me.  Trust me... I still love a good compliment and I still occasionally struggle to keep my ego out of my way, but having a strong sense of self and not needing others to make me feel strong and worthy has been a salvation for me.