Embrace Compliments

I was listening to a speaker the other day, talking about gaining confidence. During the talk, he said something that really caught my attention. He said that we should all learn to accept and embrace compliments. He said that by shrugging off a compliment, we were actually robbing the compliment giver. We were eliminating or undermining the good will the compliment was meant to portray. 

He went on to give an example. He said his young son liked to tell him he was the best father in the world. He said that he often just shrugged that off or made a joke of it. After all, he was the child's only father. But, he soon realized that by not embracing the compliment, the son was sort of defeated. He seemed less happy at his dad's reaction to the compliment. The son wanted the father to know how much he meant to him. 

This revelation really did make me think. 

How often does someone thank me for something I have done and I turn around and say it was no big deal. Or, I blow off the compliment with some silly line or joke. They were taking the time to try and make me feel special and I robbed them of that. They wanted to make me realize they understood that I had done something for them and I am making a joke of their time and effort. 

I am now working to embrace compliments. Instead of blowing them off, I try and reward the person with a kind note or huge smile. I tell them I am honored that they took the time to give me a compliment. I thank them for reaching out to me. 

Trust me, this doesn't come naturally.  I think we are all sort of wired to not accept praise or compliments. Funny thing though... as I have worked to embrace compliments, I have found I enjoy receiving them more.  They mean more to me now that I understand that the giver of the compliment is sharing their time with me and making an effort to reward me for a good behavior.  I find I want to continue to do good things for that person.

I have also really looked at the quality of compliments I give. As I said in my earlier blog (Giving Kudos), I try to often share a compliment or kudos.  I think they are important.  But, instead of just giving a standard compliment, I am working to explain what prompted my compliment.  Instead of just saying "nice haircut", I try and say the reason I really like the haircut "nice haircut, it really compliments your face".  Instead of saying "thanks for your help", I try to explain what that help did for me.  "Thanks for your help. It really did explain to me how to utilize that software program better." I am hoping that by making my compliment more specific, it will mean more to the receiver.

So, if someone takes the time to give you a solid compliment, instead of shaking it off, please reward them for their efforts.  Enjoy the compliment.  You earned it!