Butter Patties

As I made my lunch today, I thought of this helpful little hint.  Butter patties.

I was making eggs and rice.  I usually like to put a butter patty in the rice, to help keep it moist when I add the scrambled eggs.   

Years ago, John had the excellent idea to pick up a butter slicer and butter dish at a garage sale.  This allows me to slice up the butter stick, making it very handy to grab a square when I need one.

The process is simple and very easy:

• When I am done with a stick of butter, I unwrap the new one and leave it sitting on the bottom part of the wrapper.
• I slice the stick onto the wrapper.
• I flip over the butter and push the butter patties through the rest of the slicer, pushing them onto the butter dish bottom - using the wrapping paper as a way to push the butter through cleanly.

Then, I just remove the final side of the wrapper and I have a nice row of sliced butter patties sitting in my butter dish.

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I am proud of you

When is the last time you told someone you were proud of them?  Honestly proud of them?

I know we all occasionally get kudos from others. These certainly make our day brighter. After all, it feels good to be appreciated. We all enjoy having our egos stroked now and then.

I know we also all give compliments to loved ones and strangers.  These make people smile and bring joy.

But, how often do we really look at someone and say we are proud of their accomplishment?  

It seems that people don't use this phrase much, and yet, it holds such power.  When I received my current promotion, my parents both told me they were proud of me.  I know they really meant it. It meant to world to me to me hear them say it.  They are always very loving and very supportive. They compliment me and encourage me.  But, hearing they were proud of me made me realize how much more powerful that statement is.  There is something about making some proud that is extra special.

So, the next time you are truly proud of something someone else did, consider saying that to them.  Don't just tell them they did a good job or congratulations, tell them you are proud.  It is amazing how much it will mean to them.

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Small things can mean so much

What is Power?

Over the last month or so, I have had dozens of different conversations (with a large variety of people) around power. Who has power? What is power?  Does power corrupt?  Can power be useful?  I feel like the concept of power has crept into my thoughts more in the last few weeks than in the last year.  So, I thought I would share.

First, sort an overview of the conversations I have found myself involved in.

• Politicians have too much power and use it unsuccessfully. 
• Co-workers don't have enough power.  Executives have too much power.
• My peers wish I had less power, so they can have more.
• Partners and spouses don't have equal power.
• Kids/teenagers have too much power now that they are always the center of people's daily lives.
• Squeaky wheels have too much power.

While many of these I have had first hand knowledge of and I could lend my thoughts to the conversations, some of these discussions were entirely theoretical on my part. I can share with you some of my thoughts/observations:

• Almost all of us agreed that each political party is using their power to further their own agendas. Politicians are no longer working on the best way to improve the overall well being of the citizens, but instead, just working to ensure they are  re-elected.  
• Power on the job is very tricky.  
• Decisions honestly cannot be made by huge committees or nothing would ever get done.
• Someone at the top must make decisions and the people under them must make them work.  
• Or, people at the bottom must explain why a decision needs to occur and then management must work to make it happen.  
• Once the decisions have been made, all employees should trust each other and  should be given the power to make the situations work, as best as they can. 
• All employees should be working for the betterment of the company as a whole; realizing that sometimes not everyone gets exactly what they want.  
• Companies need to also work for the betterment of the employees and understand that some profit might be lessened, to ensure the workforce stays engaged and strong.
• Power should be used for making things better, not covering back sides or guarding  kingdoms.
• In relationships, I do believe that one person does seem to have more power than the other one.  In all honesty, people allow others to have extra power in relationships.  I consider it compromise.  The partners have come to an understanding of what they are willing to put up with, to make it all work.  Looking at relationships from the outside, it might seem that they are very lopsided.  That is their arrangement; it should not be for us to judge.
• Since I have no kids of my own, I can't speak to this one. 
• Squeaky wheels are definitely a power issue.  I do believe that groups should stop allowing the loudest voice to have the most power.  Sadly, I don't think this will never change.

I am powerful enough to take the lead when needed.  I am confident enough to allow others to take the lead and support them in their endeavors. I can admit my mistakes and my failures, knowing they don't define me. I am strong enough to know that I am doing a good job, even if not one compliments me.  I am smart enough to understand that not all things revolve around me and that I don't need to be involved in every outing, conversation or decision. I also understand that being powerful doesn't mean I have to be a bully. I never need to belittle someone to strip them of their power.  

Personally, it is distressing that sometimes my power has caused people to want me fired or wished I would fail. That friends stopped calling me and family found me frustrating. 

But, in the end, I am powerful enough to realize that usually it is not actually aimed at me. It is often that the other person feels a lack of power, which is making them afraid and unhappy.  

I enjoy my inner power. I hope you also enjoy yours.

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Lesson Learned - Party Ideas

I have spoken before about my love of hosting parties.  Sometimes, just having family and friends over for a BBQ or a pizza making party is enough.  But, sometimes you want to have a theme or reason for having a party.  This allows you to do some special setup or buy that decoration you have had your eye on.  Over the years, I have had a lot of different parties and all of them have been fun.  They have allowed John and I to test our hosting abilities... and allowed my guests to enjoy different food, drinks and games.

Here is a list of many of the parties we have held. I hope this helps if you are planning a party and need an idea.

• Anniversary party
• Baby Shower
• Birthday party
• Bridal shower
• Celebrity / Texas holdem tournament
• Chili cookoff contest
• 
  Christmas party
• Fourth of July celebration
• Game night
• Halloween party
• Happy hour
• Mardi Gras celebration
• New Year's Eve ball drop party
• Open house celebration
• Remodeling party
• Scavenger hunt
• St Patrick's Day corned beef bash
• Super bowl party
• Total eclipse viewing party
• Wedding shower
• Yard games event

As I put this list together, I realize how blessed I am.  We have had a lot of fun over the years.  I have been lucky to have a great social group of friends and family.  I have been fortunate to be able to afford to host these sort events.  And, most of all - I am truly honored that people want to share their time with me and John.

I can't wait to see how this list grows in the future. 

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I am thankful for...

Life Balance

On a webinar the other day, the speaker discussed life balance.  I hear a lot about work/life balance and it always sounds like it should be a daily thing, which we should all strive for.  I sometimes get very frustrated that I can't successfully balance work and life.  It seems like the impossible dream.

She presented it as more of an overall yearly process, or long-term process. 

For instance:

• If you know you are going on vacation for a few weeks, you will have to work hard before and after, to enjoy the time off.  This balances out.
• If you have some health issues or various doctor appointment, maybe you spend a little less time at work or with family.  Once the need for health-related time lessens, you can devote more time back to family and work.
• If you need to be more involved in your spiritual growth, maybe you lessen your commitments to your friends.

This seemed so simple, I was stunned I hadn't really thought of it this way before.  

Now, when I look at my life balance as a larger picture, it feels much more balanced. I work a lot, but I also enjoy time with family and friends.  I take time for my health, which sometimes means taking time off work or being away from family on the weekend.   It really does balance out more than I realize.

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If You’re Leaning…

If you’re leaning, you’re cleaning.  How many times did a parent, teacher or boss tell you this?

My first job out of high school was working in a restaurant. My boss loved that line. If we were standing, waiting for an order, we could be wiping down the counter or refilling water pitchers. As I moved to working in an office environment, I sort of lost this concept.

Jump ahead a few years.  I am sitting in a time management class and the instructor says the same thing.  He is saying we can knock out small tasks and chores, while waiting for our cup of coffee or walking through a room.  He says that using this small amount of time, we can help make larger chores and tasks, much less painful. (Note, I did discuss this a little in my blog, “Two-Minute Rule”, if you feel like you have heard this concept before.)

How do I use this concept to my advantage these days? Here are a few examples.

• I am making coffee, and leaning against the counter. My breakfast dishes are soaking in the sink. I can stand there and daydream and these dishes will still be here later in the day, with lunch dishes added.  Now the chore will take longer and who wants to look at a sink full of dishes.  Or, I can use the coffee brewing time to throw the items in the dishwasher.  Easy and quick win.
• I am walking around the yard, pouring bird seed from the bag, into the feeders. While walking back to the garage to put up the birdseed, I see a stick in the yard.  I can leave it and then spend 30 minutes this weekend picking up all the sticks.  Or, I can pick up the stick and toss it in the yard waste can and then return the bird seed cup to the bucket. If I do this each time I feed the birds that week, I can save myself about 10 minutes this weekend picking up sticks.  I can use that 10 minutes to sit on the porch and enjoy the sunshine.
• I am waiting for my soup to cook for lunch. Again, I can stand and daydream. Or, I can use that time to clean the cat box and give them fresh water. 

I am using oversimplified examples, I know. But, if you are like me and hate wasting time doing chores, shaving a few minutes off each chore or doing them while waiting for something else, helps make them seem less intrusive to my days. This gives me more time to spend with friends, family or cats, which is a much better use of my time.

Being a friend takes work and commitment

For some reason, I think most of us believe that being friends should be easy. You almost immediately know when you have made a new friend. You instantly find a straightforward way of communicating. It is effortless.

Yet, as time goes by, we realized that maybe it is not so effortless and we let friendships die a slow death.

Shame on us. Everything is life takes work, sometimes hard work. A good marriage takes a lot of hard work, compromise, communication and forgiveness. Staying healthy takes eating right, seeing doctors and dentists, working out, and getting enough sleep.  Having a nice place to call home takes cleaning, maintenance, and upgrading. We understand this and we make the commitment to do these things because the investments are worth the rewards we receive.

Shouldn't friendship also be worth it? Just because a friendship was super-easy in the beginning, does not mean as time goes by, you don't have to put in the work. 

If you are lucky enough to have a good friend, nurture that relationship. My friends give me so much joy and support. I can't imagine my life without my my friends. I am blessed to have them be a part of my life.

If you haven't worked on your good friendship(s) in a while, you should consider:

• Sending them a note for no reason, letting them know you care.
• Thanking them for sharing their time and energy with you. They could share it with anyone... and yet, they chose you.
• If they are going through some hardship or problem, check in on them often.
• If things are going well for them, check in on them randomly.
• Ask them to dinner or drinks or a walk in the park. They should not always have to do the asking.

It takes effort for all the great things you have in your life. Treat your friends the way you would other important things. The rewards are amazing!

Your stuff should bring you joy

A friend of mine called me to her house the other day.  They were having the house painted and she wanted my advice on what to hang back on the walls and what to change.  She had a shelf of cups/saucers that she thought maybe should be boxed up.  For as long as I can remember, that shelve has been 100% used for cups/saucers.  I said that she could pull a knick-knack from another room, and put that on the shelf.  Keep maybe two to three of her favorite cup/saucers on the shelf and maybe put one or two sets elsewhere in the house. She wasn't sure, as she felt they belonged together.  She wondered if it would look strange to have them scattered around the house.  I told her that the things she sees around her house should bring her joy.  Didn't matter if that meant your house was not perfectly decorated.  Like items didn't need to be grouped together.  Joy was more important.

This conversation made me realize how often we modify our stuff to look "correct" for our guests. Or, what we think will look right from the eyes of others.  Why do we do this?  We should be embracing the stuff that brings us joy and make sure they are front and center in our daily lives.

To this end, I pulled a few old toys from my keepsake box and put them in my office.  I put some of my flamingo items in my bathroom, even though the bathroom is decorated with a Paris-theme.  I added a fun bird pillow to my office guest chair, that totally doesn't match anything else in the room, but brings me joy when I look at it.

I am guessing, that when I have friends over, they might look around and think "wow... she has no decorating style."  Honestly, I am okay with that.  I know in my heart that they won't stop being my friend or stop coming to my house because my style is weird.  I know they probably won't even say anything about it.  And, if they do, I will tell them that I am surrounding myself with joy and give them a big smile.   

So, if the stuff in your house doesn't bring you joy... it is time to replace it.  Or, if the stuff that brings you joy is hidden from your daily view ... move it.  Everything doesn't have to be perfect or matchy-matchy.  Embrace the "joy" concept and see how much more you enjoy spending time in your rooms.

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Exorcising school-age demons

I listen to a lot of audiobooks. Most of them are murder mysteries that are included with my Kindle Unlimited account.  It is amazing to me how many of these star people that return to their home town and face their demons (while solving a murder or being investigated for the murder).  They face their grade school and high school nemesis while dredging up various memories of their past.

And, as some of you that follow my blog posts might remember, I wrote a blog post regarding my picture / keepsake box project.  This made me confront pictures of some people I treated badly and some that treated me badly.  It is weird how keepsakes can cause good and bad memories to creep back into your consciousness.  

We all have demons from our past that haunt us. Most seem to come from being school-aged.  What amazes me is how long we can carry these feelings and how they shape our lives far into adulthood.  

If I could go back to my young adult self, I would ask her to exorcise her school demons much earlier.  I would tell her:

• Growing up is full of social situations that go sideways.
• Most bullies were very scared children, that lashed out to help ease their own pain.
• I was bullied, but I was also a bully - depending on the situation and the children involved..  
• All of us were insecure and scared of making mistakes.
• The popular girls and boys did not always lead the magical lives we thought they did.
• Almost every time I thought people were talking about me, they probably weren't.
• My fashion sense (or lack there of) meant absolutely nothing to anyone but me.
• Having the perfect book binder, book bag or other gadget did not make me a better person, friend or scholar.
• Fretting over everything brought me nothing but upset stomachs; fretting never changed the situation.
• People don't always act out of hatred or malice, even if it seems that way. Children can be cruel, but seldom mean it as badly as we take it.

As I have listened to the audiobooks, many of the characters come to realize that their school mates were not as bad as they thought.  They were battling their own demons.  Many characters figure out that the memories they had been carrying for so long, were not even close to the reality of the situation(s).

During my own walk down memory lane I realized that at times, I really was the bully. I said and did hurtful things. I saw situations wrongly. I reacted badly due to ignorance or pride. I also allowed others to hurt me because I was unsure of my own inner strength. 

I came to understand that it is more than time to let it all go. I apologize to anyone I might have hurt along the way. I hope that anyone I did hurt, has realized that I didn't mean it and I certainly never wanted to scar anyone for life.  I forgive anyone that hurt me; the scars they left have healed.

I am sure we all wish we were better as children, but I believe it is a part of growing up and finding our way in the world. It is time to just enjoy the person we have become and thank that younger self for surviving it all. It is time for healing, forgiveness and understanding.

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Lesson Learned - An oversized mousepad solved my desk issues

Awhile back, I realized that my mousepad was really not doing it for me. It seemed like I was always running my mouse off the edge of my mousepad.  It never seemed to be big enough sitting to the right of my keyboard.  I tried to move the pad around to help make it work, but nothing seemed to work.

I tried using the mouse on the desk, without a mousepad, but that had other issues that frustrated me.  

I am also a tough typist.  I learned on a manual typewriter, so I hit the keys much harder than I need to. (And sadly, trying to learn to type "easier/softer" is harder than it sounds.)  I tended to slide my keyboard often when typing.  

I tried a variety of things. One day I ran across an extended mousepad.  What an amazing thing. It is large enough to fit fully under my keyboard, stopping the sliding issue. It gives my mouse a ton of room to roam.  It solved all my issues.  And, it is colorful and makes me smile when I see it each morning.

Sometimes, a simple change can make all the difference.

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Lesson Learned - Tracking Stuff

Earlier this year, I discussed tracking home improvements.  I am a big fan of tracking all sorts of things.  I have a few spreadsheets with tabs across the bottom. Each tab is something I am tracking. 

For example:

• Vacations we have taken - including years, stops made, people that went with us and various small notes.
• This helps when sorting pictures, speaking to others about travel options for them, and just remembering the good times.
• Jobs I have had - including company and supervisor names, dates, general job duties and other relevant notes.
• Helpful when job hunting or speaking to a headhunter.
  
• Special projects I have completed for work - including dates and any special links or notes to help remind me of the overall scope of the project.
• Very helpful when completing my year end review or just mentoring others with their project work.
• Medications I take or previously took - including dates and side effect notes.
• Helpful when speaking to a new doctor or referring a medication to someone.
• Useful websites - including links, descriptions and notes.
• Helps if I need to pull a copy of my electric bill, remember my login information for posting blogs, or find my mortgage account number.
• Tax documents needed - including what docs I needed for the previous years.
• Very helpful to ensure I send all necessary documentation to my accountant.
• Housesitting duties - including how often they need to be completed and any notes pertaining to the chore.
• Helpful in knowing what to share with a house sitter when we travel.
• Paint colors - including the bar code number, color name and finish, and the room(s) painted in that color.
• Helpful if I need to buy touch-up paint or what to recommend the color to someone.
• Christmas gift tracking - including who received what and where I purchased it.
• Great for ensuring I don't give someone the same gift two years in a row and also very helpful for coming up with ideas for gifts.

It is quick and easy to go into these spreadsheets and update the tabs vs trying to build this information on the fly (usually in a hurry and then mistakes are made and information is missed).  And, I am amazed how often I actually do use the information, especially since it is at my fingertips.

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Capture Information As It Flies By

Enjoying Life

Years ago, a friend of mine sent me a Ted Talk on the Wonder Woman pose. The talk is actually about much more than that, but this is what I call it. The speaker talks about faking it till you make it, having strong body language and empowering ourselves. 

I watch this video every six months or so, to remember to be strong. It helps remind me to go into situations that scare me with confidence and poise. This video gives me determination, courage, energy and spirit in a huge variety of situations.

I have also found a few other things to help me enjoy life more.

• A festive playlist: It is full of loud, crazy and upbeat songs. If I am heading to a dinner, happy hour or party that I am not all that excited about, I throw on this playlist for the drive to the event.  By the time I arrive, I feel enthusiastic and ready to have a wonderful time.
• Positive quotes: I have a collection of quotes that inspire me.  I keep a file of them and refer to them whenever I need a quick boost.  They are a good reminder to be happy, count my blessings, and enjoy life.  
• Cat videos:
• I have a great cat leaping video that makes me laugh each and every time I watch it.  It never gets old.  It just reminds to always be willing to try, even if I don't make it.
• I have another wonderful cat video that I watch whenever I need to be reminded that I should always share joy.  If I appreciate what someone is doing for me, let them know.  Even if I sound a little crazy doing it - the person I am "rewarding" probably enjoys my enthusiasm.

Find whatever brings you joy and make it a permanent part of your life. Make it easily available and repeat it often. No one can ever have too much joy.

If you found delight in this blog, please check out:  

My journey to be “Smiley” again

Keeping Kudos

Keepsakes and Photos Cleaning Project

For the past year, I have been working on a project to clean my keepsake and photo boxes.  I am guessing you all have a box or two like mine ... crammed with photos still in the original Walgreens photo pack, loose papers, and tchotchkes from your childhood or early adulthood.

During Covid, I decided it was time to tackle these boxes. I knew going through everything would be emotional. I knew that it would bring back many great memories and some sad regrets.  I knew it would make me remember things that I had forgotten.  I knew these things would make me smile and sometimes frown.  But, I also knew that every time I saw these boxes on the basement shelf, I felt frustrated with myself that I was avoiding facing my past.  

It was time to tackle this project.

I admit - this project was 20 years past due.  The bottom of the boxes were filled with stuff from my parents house that they returned to me when I moved in with John. I added to these boxes during the first years with John.  Then, the boxes went into hibernation.  We moved to our current house back in 2008 and I just moved the boxes; never opening them before the move and trying to ignore them after the move.  

I decided to undertake this task in small doses.  First, I took the boxes and separated the items into categories: photos, papers, and miscellaneous.  During this time I tossed stuff that was damaged or easily pitched. After all, I no longer needed water damaged yearbooks, love letters from school boyfriends, napkins from my wedding day and origami fortune tellers from grade school.  And, can anyone explain why I still had my egg "child" from high school?

I then put the boxes away for a bit, to mentally recover from this first round.  

Round two: thin out the miscellaneous and paper items. I pitched more stuff and put together a box for charity/garage sale.  Honestly, as I looked at the items again, I realized that if I hadn't wanted or needed to get into these boxes in over 20 years, there really was nothing that I probably needed to keep.  I allowed myself to keep a handful of items that brought me true joy when I saw them.  Some of the items I set on my desk or found a place in the house for them.  Others, I did return to the box to enjoy again in 30 years when I open the box again.  Everything else is gone.  

Again, I gave myself time to recover. Luckily, the recovery was not as hard this time. I was understanding that my past was filled with more joy than sorrow.  I realized that what I experienced in my youth, made me the lady I am today. 

Round three: photos.  First, I separated the pictures into stacks: Christmas and other holidays, vacations and day trips, school friends, job events, pets, house projects, parties, etc.  Then, I worked through each stack. In some cases, I enjoyed the "flashback" and then realized that a friend might enjoy these pictures more and created small stacks to give to friends.  Some were pictures that were enjoyable to see again, but did not need to be kept. Some were damaged and needed to just be pitched.  

After purging photos, I took the photo albums I had and added the pictures into the open pages.  I added labels to the different sections, with my best guess as to the year and event.  For the few stacks that were too large to add to the albums, or had a lot of pictures that seemed redundant (i.e., a decade of Mardi Gras parade pictures do start to look the same), I just kept them in the Walgreens photo pack and made a note on the outside as to what was inside.  

I now have two boxes on the basement shelf.  One holds wedding stuff and pictures.  One holds the other pictures and miscellaneous.  The albums are on a shelf in my office.  Someday I might do a scanning project to save these pictures electronically.

Over the year, I really did have my ups and downs with this project. In the end, I realized how truly blessed I have been. I had good friends and fun boyfriends. I had a very involved family. I traveled to fantastic places and saw amazing sights. I threw and attended fun parties. I have done some great home improvements. The blessings go on and on. I know when I open these boxes again in 30 years, I will thoroughly enjoy the walk down memory lane.  My life really is amazing.

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Be Accepting ... Be Less Judgmental

I read a post the other day, recommending that we be open minded to why people might still be wearing face masks.  With the mask restrictions being lifted, people who are still wearing them are being judged as "weird", "germophobic", or other disparaging things.  

It struck me when I read this, that we judge people quickly, all the time.  It made me realize that we should all try and remember that in some cases, we just don't know what other people are going through.  We don't know the reason they are doing what they are doing.  

• 
  Someone cuts you off ... they might be racing to get to a hospital.
• Someone's outfit is totally mismatched ... they might color blind or unable to afford a good wardrobe.
• Someone drives with overly bright headlights ... it could be a new car and they don't realize how bright their lights are or how to reset them.
• Someone doesn't answer your question the way you think they should ... they might not understand you or your question.
• Someone ignores you when you say "hi" ... they might not have their hearing aid turned up.
• Someone wears a mask ... they might have a cold and are trying to be a good neighbor and not spread their germs.
• Someone reacts "wrong" to a situation ... they could have been raised in a foreign country and their reaction is appropriate to their upbringing.

The list goes on and on.

Now, sometimes people are just rude and uncaring. But, given we do not know what other people are facing in their lives, we should strive to give people the benefit of the doubt and not pass immediate judgement on them.  

If you enjoyed this blog, please check out:

People are people

Treat yourself as you would your best friend

Upgrading to Rollerblade Wheels is Remarkable

Not sure if you have issues with the wheels on your desk chair, but I had a ton of issues. 

Mine seemed to be a huge magnet for dirt and cat hair.  They would get clogged and no longer roll easily.  I cleaned them often, but it never seemed to get any better.  The same day I cleaned them, they would be all gunched up again.

My husband received rollerblade wheels for his chair from his company as a surprise gift. He loved them immediately and still loves them. 

I generally hate to waste money on "upgrades", but in this case, I went ahead and popped the $25.

I ordered a set of rollerblade wheel replacements and WOW … what a difference they make. 

I can practically roll throughout the house on one push from the desk. Of course, I now have to be very careful when I push away from my desk, not to rush into the wall behind me. They don’t get clogged and cat hair doesn’t seem to bond with them.  I should have upgraded a long time ago.

Again, I almost never encourage spending money on just a simple upgrade, but in this case... it was money well spent.

Note: almost all office chairs can be upgraded, but some cannot. Please read the reviews and check your chair wheels if you feel this is something you want to consider.

Small things can mean so much

It always amazes me how much the smallest gesture can really touch my soul.  

• 
  A friend gave me a calendar she thought I would enjoy.  
• It happened to be right at the time I was switching to working fully remote, moving departments, and sort of feeling unsure how my future would pan out with the friends I had made at the office. This thoughtful gift meant the world to me and made me feel that even with working from home and changing roles, I would not loose the friends I had made.
• Family members reached out to see about how I felt after my second covid shot.
• I didn't feel well.  I knew this was very temporary and that the shot was truly going to help, but I still felt sorry for myself for having nasty side-effects. Just receiving a text asking how I was feeling, brightened my spirits.  Made me realize people cared.
• A stranger complimented me on my hair.
• I was having a truly bad hair day and was considering chopping it all off.  The stranger's compliment helped remind me that just because I was having a bad day, didn't mean I should change my looks. 
• A friend gave me a smiley rubber stamp she always kept on her desk.  
• She thought I would appreciate it. I still keep it on my desk to this day and it makes me smile.

I have really come to appreciate the small expressions of friendship and kindness. I know people are very busy. The fact someone took the time to help improve my day, means a lot. Sometimes the smallest kind words, thoughts, gestures, or gifts can have a huge impact.

As you go through your day, try and ensure you help brighten someone else's day.  And, if someone takes the time to uplift your day, realize what a blessing you have received.

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Lesson Learned - Party Hosting

I love to host parties. Having family and friends over gives me great joy.  I am honored that people accept my invitations and seem to enjoy themselves when they come over. 

But, throwing a party can be stressful and requires planning, setup and supervision.  Over the years, I have worked hard to make setting up and hosting a party faster, easier and less stressful - that way I can enjoy the time with the people that attend.

Here are a few things I have learned that have helped me:

• Set up a trash / recycle area, away from the food area(s).
• I have a pvc pipe trash bag holder that is easy to put together.  It holds two bags - so I can mark one with a sign for trash and one for recycling. 
• It helps keep people from digging in my cabinets trying to figure out where I hide my cans.
• It helps the flow of traffic around the food area(s).
• It breaks down to store easily and doesn't take up much room.
• I can easily wash the pvc pipes if they get dirty.
• I place trash bags under the open bags, that way I can swap them out easily during the party, when the bag is full.
• Put out extra towels and an extra roll of toilet paper in your bathroom.
• This saves me having to check the bathroom off and on during the party.
• Dedicate a shelf/shelves in your cabinet(s) to hold party bowls, platters, etc.
• I have two shelves that are high and require a stool (or John) to reach the partyware.  I keep it all together on these shelves, to make it easy to find when I have a party.  It also keeps it out of the way of my normal daily bowls and plates.
• 
  Keep your paper products in a box.
• I have a box that I put all my paper products.  If I know the party is a paper-product sort of party, I can just pull out that box and everything is there (bowls, plates, utensils, koozies and napkins). I also keep an electric strip in this box, in case I need to plug in crock pots and warming trays.
• This keeps my cabinets clear and I can store it near the pvc trash can so I can grab everything in one trip.
• Put beverages in a cooler or tub.
• If the party is larger and I am concerned about every thing fitting in my frig, I put out a few beverage coolers or larger, round tubs.
• This helps keep the food area less crowded.
• This allows people to help themselves.
• For my tubs, I put down a plastic bag, covered with a beach towel, to help absorb the condensation.  Helps keep my floors safer and ensures no one slips if water builds up under the tubs.
• Put out chairs and tv trays (or small tables) to allow people to make themselves at home.
• You don't need to be fancy with this, just set them around - people will move them to fit their needs.

Most importantly, remember that people are there to visit with you and other people.  They are not there to do a white glove test or check your baseboards for dirt.  You don't need to deep clean before the party. You don't need to have everything perfectly arranged.  People want to feel at home and enjoy the time together.  They will make it work and probably feel more relaxed if your house is not perfectly set for the party.

I have found, over the years, I can put together most of the party in the morning.  I then catch a nap.  I set up the rest of the rest of the party right before people start showing up, or while they are showing up.  The chaos of new people appearing helps cover my last minute grab for serving utensils or toothpicks for appetizers.  Remember - the idea is to have fun and everyone else should have fun also.

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Questions and Answers

In the past, I have written about getting answers and helping others with questions.  

There are two other important parts of asking and answering questions...

1. The acknowledgement of receiving the question
2. The reply to receiving the answer

How many of us have asked a question... just to get crickets.  Sometimes a few days go by and suddenly, you get an answer. Sometimes, you never hear anything. So frustrating.

If someone asks you a question, take a quick moment to recognize their inquiry.  Let them know you saw it and either you will have to search for an answer, or you will never know the answer and they should ask someone else. If you don't understand their question, ask them to clarify.  There is no shame in letting them know you don't have all the answers or don't understand what they are asking.  But, I do believe their is shame in not letting the other person know you saw their question.

And, if you have received an answer to your question, give a thank you.  Or, if their answer doesn't actually answer your question, circle back for clarification.  Maybe the responder didn't truly understand your question. 

I know when I ask someone a question, I am thrilled when they let me know my question was received. And, when I give an answer to someone's question, I love the feedback - both positive and negative - regarding the help my answer provided.  In fact, if I get a note "thanks for the reply, but that didn't really give me the answer"... I enjoy the challenge of learning how to better interpret and answer questions.  

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My older self - what do I owe her?

I was watching one of the "Explained" shows the other night about investing for retirement. I found it very interesting. 

One of the premises was that our inability to picture our future self made planning for his/her future very difficult. They did a study where they age-progressed young people. Once the young person saw their older selves, they were more likely to make 401K investments.

It really did make me think how much I owe my older self. And, I realized how truly hard it is to picture her and really give her the proper amount of thought.

What do I owe her?  I gave this a lot of thought (and wished I had thought about her in my twenties more).

• Physical health - so she can walk and take care of herself till the very last moment
• Financial health - so she can continue to live comfortably and enjoy adventures
• Mental health - so she can continue to be curious and engaged in the world around her
• Comedic health - so she can laugh at herself and the fun things she encounters
• Social health - so she can continue to have friends and family that are willing to share their time with her

Now that I am in my 50s... I do give future Sue more thought. I am working harder to try and give her a good shot at a blessed life.  I sure hope she makes the best out of it.

And... for those of you that are curious about my investments... I was very lucky that my first investment advisor was wonderful.  He didn't try and sell me on my future or even discussed my future self.  Instead, he played to my greed.  He showed me that if I invested $20 a month starting at 18 years old, I could be a millionaire in my 60's.  I sure hope I really make it.  I definitely want to put my pinky in my mouth and say "One Million Dollars" (thank you Austin Powers).   

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Lesson Learned - Turning Plants

Awhile back I read an interesting article on growing healthier plants.  They said that the secret was to turn them every time you water them. This way, each part of the plant received a similar amount of light and would grow more evenly.

I loved this idea and started turning them a clockwise a quarter each time I watered them.  I was pleasantly surprised to see that they did grow more evenly and looked fuller.

Of course, I realized that sometimes I turned a plant and wasn't sure if I turned it truly a quarter turn or not.  I had a brainstorm.  A friend of mine had sent me cute little flamingos.  I put one in each of the plants and that makes it very easy to gage a quarter turn. The flamingos also make me smile each time I see them. I think of my friendship which warms my heart. Win/Win.

If you have plants that are growing oddly and seem to only grow on one side, try turning them when you water them and see if they like it.  Mine sure do.

Recognize your talents

Awhile back, a friend of mine was talking about learning a new language.  I was pleased for her and envious of her ability to take on the task of learning a new language.  

I have tried off and on over the years to start learning a new language and I always stop pretty quickly.  I don't enjoy it. I know I am not a strong language person. I am not wired to grasp languages. The process always became a burden to me and gives me no satisfaction. 

As I thought about my friend's ability to learn something that I struggled with, I wondered if I could somehow be more driven or smarter - could I figure out how to like learning a new language?

Later that week, I was asked to look into a software issue a friend was having.  I jumped right in.  I watched a few videos and read some articles.  I learned more about the software and was able to help my friend.

I realized that I have talents. I love software. I love researching issues. I get a lot of fulfillment out of learning new software and new software tricks.  

At that point, I understood that I really needed to recognize and embrace my talents. I needed to realize that I can't know everything.  I needed to forgive myself for not enjoying learning a new language.  It was not a character flaw - it was just my reality.

Knowledge is a great thing and learning new things every day is something I believe in.  I encourage everyone to learn something new each and every day.  But, that doesn't necessarily mean that you have to torture yourself with trying to learn things you don't enjoy or won't appreciate.  Allow yourself to learn things that will be meaningful to you.

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Goodbye Pretty Good Toys

As some of you might know, I owned a collectible toy company back in the 1990's /early 2000's.  I loved it and was sorry to see the collectible market crash after 9/11.  It broke my heart to have to close it down.

I was very blessed and able to restart my executive assistant career. I lucked into working for some great companies. I was able to save some money, pay off debts and help make a secure life for us.

When we moved to our new house in 2008, we sold off/gave away over half of the leftover inventory. That still left me with a lot of inventory that I just couldn't bring myself to part with. I kept thinking that if I ever needed some extra cash, I could go back to selling online.  Or, if I got bored, I could drag out a few boxes and sell what I could sell.  John tried his hand at selling a few things when his consulting company was just starting up a few years ago.  We even picked up the occasional collectible at a garage sale or flea market that we thought might be worth something, someday.

It is now 2021. John and I had a long, honest talk, regarding the reality of holding onto the inventory. We admitted that we neither of us wanted to put in the time and effort to sell toys again. We realized we barely made any money anymore, given the cost of selling fees and S&H charges.  Our time making good money at selling collectibles was over.  Our hearts were not in it anymore.

Now we are going through the "toy room" and purging all but the items we want to keep for our own personal enjoyment.  We figure we will have a huge garage sale sometime this summer.  Anything that doesn't find a home that way, will get to go to goodwill.  

Is this extremely sad?  Yes.  I always sort of hoped I would find the magic of PGToys again.  It was such a wonderful experience. It brought me such joy.  

Is this also extremely satisfying?  Yes.  It feels really good to purge.  I know when the task is completed, I will feel great when I see the emptier empty room in my basement - knowing the items went to people that will hopefully display them proudly, or sell them and enjoy the experiences I had with selling.

I know saying goodbye to PGToys is something I probably should have done years ago... but I now have the strength to let it go entirely. I know I will have no regrets.  Sometimes you just have to wait awhile and let the time be right.  As they say, "all good things must come to and end".  The memories I have will last a lifetime.  I was blessed to get to own PGToys for as long as I did.

Tracking Home Improvement

Tracking home improvement might sound dull and totally unnecessary.  But, I believe it is very useful, in many ways.

At our last house, I didn't bother to track what home improvement projects we completed. When we went to sell the house, the agent wanted us to provide prospective buyers a list of what was done and when we completed the projects.  I had to scour through notes, QuickBooks, and emails to try and put this list together. It was a pain. I am sure I missed items.

I decided that at our new house, I would definitely keep a list. I didn't want to be caught off guard again - if/when we go to sell the house.

What do I track?  Pretty much anything above and beyond normal daily house maintenance. 

For example, my list includes:

• Remodeling projects
• Painting projects
• Window replacements
• Tree removals and plantings
• Flooring replacement
• Water heater replacement
• Landscape renewal
• Ventless fireplace install
• Insulation added to attic

There are more items on my list, but this gives you the idea. 

I track the items by location, item, and year.  This allows me to be able to sort my list in various ways.  

• I can see what all has been done for a certain areas of the house.  
• I can tell what I might need to do in upcoming years. 
• For instance, if I haven't painted the hallways in a decade, it might be time to start thinking about that project and budgeting for a painter.  
• It also really helps if I have to pull paperwork for a particular item. I can see the year and this helps me narrow down my search for warranty, invoice or user guide information.

I don't track when I change light bulbs or complete other minimal tasks, but most other items...I track.  After all - I can always delete unneeded items.  It is much harder to track down information years later - than add a line item to a spreadsheet at the time I complete the project.

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Staying in Touch

Staying in touch is necessary for everyday life. For work, we need to reach out to a variety of people all day long.  For our social health, staying in touch keeps us connected to our friends and family.  To obtain goods and services, we need to communicate with others and sometimes follow-up to achieve what we need.

To be good at staying in touch, you must recognize your audience and understand their requirements to stay engaged.  As I discussed in my blog "Know Your Email Audience", there is an art to engaging others.  I use a variety of communication tools, depending on my needs and/or my audience.

• 
  Email:  I like the record that is created, using email. I like that I can search them and refer back to old emails for information. I like that I can deal with them when I have time.  I like sending pictures, smiles, memes, etc. to help keep my readers engaged. This is my preferred method and I tend to use it most often. 
• Text:  This is certainly the quicker way to stay in touch. People (myself included) tend to reply faster to a text than an email. I also have some family and friends that enjoy playing "guess what we are doing" via text. They send a picture and we all pipe in with fun replies.  It helps keep the group active and engaged.
• IM: Instant messaging or chats is also a very quick way to get in touch with someone. Like texts, most people reply to an IM or chat very quickly.  And, like texts, you can use this for groups and keep a lot of people engaged at the same time. With companies using this for their customer service issues, this is becoming a much more widely used form of communications.  
• Phone: Certainly one of the fastest ways to stay in touch, if the other person picks up your call. When you have a lot to communicate, it is much easier than typing or texting. I am not very good on the phone, but I try hard to embrace it when someone calls me or when I know I need to "use my words" to explain my thoughts or needs.
• In-person: This is certainly my favorite ways to get to carry on longer conversations, if I have time available to spend with others.  There is something very rewarding about using this more social form of being engaged.
• Letters: Yes, sometimes it is good to still write a letter. Some people are not computer literate. Some situations just require a hand written note. And, people still enjoy getting snail mail.
• Social Media Posts: Posting about your life, thoughts or links to your blogs, allows you to reach a larger audience, on a very casual level.  This method does not ensure you reach everyone, given that some people don't follow social media regularly.  But, this does allow some social interaction - sometimes with people you haven't heard from in a long time.  It can be a nice surprise to see a comment from someone you hadn't thought of in awhile.

I have some friends that generally only communicate through Facebook IM or Google Chat.  I have some that will only text with me. Some only email two or three times a week, but will pick up the phone if I need them quickly.  Some email in the morning and others email in the afternoon.  To stay connected, you have to learn how your friends, family, co-workers, etc. like to communicate. If you engage them in their favorite way, you can show them you care and want to engage with them.  This should even help strengthen your relationship with them.  It might seem like a pain to manage multiple communication platforms, but I believe staying in touch is worth the effort.  

Magic Eraser Love

If you never heard of them, or like me, you forgot about Magic Eraser sponges, I highly recommend them.  

A couple of years ago, I was talking with a friend of mine about needing to clean my vinyl outdoor fence.  I was talking about dragging out my power washer and spending all weekend trying to clean the gunk off the panels.  My friend looked at me like I was crazy and asked why I didn't just use a Magic Eraser sponge.  

HUH?  I had totally forgotten about these.  I remember the commercials from years ago. I used them off and on to clean things in my kitchen, but honestly, I hadn't bought any in years and never thought about them in regards to cleaning something outside.  

I promptly ordered a bunch of them and set to work.  They made easy work of the gunk on my fence.  I could sit on a stool, with a bucket of water and the sponges, and go to town.  I could do a little at a time without having to drag the power washer in and out.  It made the job so much easier and allowed me to work on the fence when I had even small blocks of time.

This winter, it came time to deep clean the kitchen tile floors. Usually, for this chore, I would drag out the clothes steamer and steam the tiles a few at a time, and then scrub them.  This time, I pulled out my bucket and my Magic Eraser sponges. The floor looks cleaner than it has following any of my past cleanings with the steamer.

I have used them for other smaller projects and am loving them.

Funny how sometimes you forget about something wonderful, and then a friend helps you out. I thank my friend very much for reminding me of these little miracle workers. 

Lesson Learned - Weeding

I enjoy weeding.  Yes, I realize how crazy this sounds. Trust me, I didn't always love weeding. I used to dread it. At our first house, John and I had almost no landscaping. During our time at the house, we removed most of the landscaping and let grass grow.  Neither of us enjoyed having to care for flowers, bushes or any general landscaping.  

Then, we moved into our new home.  The house had landscaping that consisted of rock areas with bushes and some flowering hostas.  It was not complicated landscaping, but it did require more work than we were used to.  We could tell that the new neighborhood was not really going to embrace the all-grass concept, so we needed to embrace doing some yard work.  

As luck would have it, we were fortunate to enjoy a trip to Japan.  During our time there, we visited a palace, where the gardeners were working meticulously on the grounds. They were pruning bushes with the smallest of shears, almost like they were pruning small bonsai trees.  They were carefully weeding the landscaping.  They were trimming the grass with shears (pictured). We even saw one man weeding the grass with what looked like chop sticks.  

We learned that they take extreme pride in ensuring the grounds look amazing. They have such reverence for the gardens and the joy they bring to everyone.  You could tell this was not a chore for them, but a dignified way for them to work. They were Zen while working and found peace in the tasks.

When I returned from this trip, I realized that I should take pride in my home and my yard. I should be honored to own a home in a good neighborhood that embraced beauty. I should find Zen in yardwork.

So, I did.  I downloaded a good book on tape and set to work. I bought a nice gardening mat at a garage sale. I got myself some good weeding gloves and set out to learn to be Zen with the weeds.  I started out small.  I worked through the rocky landscaping areas, pulling weeds, grasses and sticks.  I sat in the rocks, sometimes for hours, just enjoying my book.  When I would be done, I could marvel at how much better the area looked. It really was a Zen way to spend an afternoon.

Now, to be honest, if I am busy, I don't always take this Zen approach.  Sometimes I just spray the weeds and pick up the larger sticks. Sometimes I pay someone to clean the landscaping.  But, when I have time, I still enjoy the simplicity of sitting in the rocks and enjoying nature.

Stop fretting over your decisions

I used to spend a lot of time fretting over the choices I made - both big and small.  

• I should have ordered that other sandwich for dinner.  
• I should have picked that other color for my walls.  
• I should have purchased that other bird feeder. 
• I should have purchased that other car.
• I should have written that other blog this week.
• The list goes on and on.  

I am sure that many of you do the same thing.

Stop. 

Stop beating yourself up for what might have been. Enjoy the choices you make. Own them. Fretting over what could have been only detracts from what is. 

Early on in my marriage, I thought we might end up divorced over my trying to buy the perfect entertainment center. I bet I drove to over a dozen stores. I spent hours dragging John to various stores to look at my "final" choices. In the end, I ended up buying one of the ones I liked at the very beginning of my search. I really enjoyed it. Years later, when I bought a larger TV, this entertainment center no longer fit the new TV.  All those hours of fretting over it, and it was no longer going to work. When I bought the replacement entertainment center, I searched online and quickly found three I loved.  I ordered one online and never even touched it. It works great and I really enjoy this one too.  Probably took me 1/100th of the time to make this decision and I was able to spend that time doing other things I enjoy more than shopping for furniture.

I have learned a lot of truths over the years about fretting over decisions:

• Nothing lasts forever. Chances are good you will make a decision over the same thing numerous times in your lifetime.
• Use the power of three to help make the choices. Your mind will thank you.
• After a day or two, most of us can't even remember the other choices we could have made. 
• Embrace the choice you made. Enjoy it. Learn from it. Make an improved choice next time.
• Use the energy and time you save by not fretting over a decision, to do something you love.

Honestly, I am so much happier not wasting time beating myself up on the choices I could have made. I embrace and enjoy the choices I did make. And, if it isn't a perfect choice, it is certainly good enough - someday soon I will get to make a new choice.  

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Full Circle

I was fortunate enough the other day, to be asked to give a training talk during an assistant community call.  These calls are held by the admins in my company and they consist of speakers sharing knowledge about company procedures, processes, software, etc.  I was honored to be chosen to speak on mailbox management and I had a very good time sharing my knowledge. 

After the talk, a few attendees reached out to me with questions.  During this same time, the community resource chat room the admins use had some questions I could also help answer.  I had a huge revelation that my life had come full circle regarding mentoring.  

When I first switched from waitressing to office work, my mom taught me all the basic skills to land a job (excel, word, etc.).  I started off working through temp agencies.  I figured I could build up my skills and determine what sort of work I might be good at and what sort of company I should try and work for.

Mom told me that once I got inside a company, I should try and find an older assistant to help mentor me.  I should listen closely to what that person had to say...I would learn a lot.

I was lucky enough to land a few longer term assignments early on.  I would search around and try and find the older assistants in my area, that I thought would be willing to help me.  I found some amazing people that were happy to help me.

I realized quickly that not only were they willing to share their business skills with me, but also their knowledge of how to behave in business.  How to ask and answer questions, how to read situations, how to interpret important information vs useless information, how to gain confidence in my abilities, etc.  It was an amazing education. To this day, I still use a lot of the skills they taught me.  I am grateful to them all.

As I was answering a question from one of the attendees, I realized that I had come full circle.  I was now the older assistant, trying to help others.  Once I got over the shock of realizing I was now the "old" assistant in this story... I realized I had a really big smile on my face - knowing that someday, someone I helped out, would share their knowledge with the others in their work life and the cycle of mentoring (formally and informally) would continue.  

So, if you are young and just starting out... take advantage of us "old" folks... we have knowledge to share.  If you are one of us "older" folks... please help those following in your footsteps.  You might change a life for the better. And, no matter what age you are, don't be afraid to ask for help and continue to learn from the people around you.

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Critter Painting

Last fall, as I prepared for winter, I had the bittersweet job of bringing in all my yard critters.  I love the look of all my colorful yard decorations, scattered throughout the yard. But, I know they can't survive the winter and it does give me the fun project of cleaning them up over the winter and repainting them. 

As many of you might have read in my blog, "Hobby … What is a Hobby?", I enjoy painting yard decorations. The spring and summer storms take their toll on my critters, so each winter, I get to give them all a total makeover. 

First, I bring them into the garage and stack them on a shelf. I let the holidays go by and usually in January or February, I bring them in and clean them all.  Then, I bring out the paints and go to work.

I used to try and keep them sort of muted. I thought the neighbors would appreciate it if my yard was not overly colorful and "weird".  But, as the years have gone on, many neighbors have stopped me and commented on how much fun it is to drive or walk past my house and see all the fun decorations and the bright colors. So, now they all get bright, fun paintjobs.  

During the 2020 (covid) spring, I even pulled some of the items in and painted encouraging words on them (smile, laugh, love, be happy, etc.).  More neighbors stopped to tell me how much they appreciated the joy they felt when they saw my stuff.  I could tell that I was actually helping people smile.

The best part of all was when I pulled in my critters, I had two new little frogs hiding in my front rock area.  I don't need to do a ton of landscaping work in that area, so I hadn't noticed them before. They were cute little guys, that someone had shared with me.  I can't tell you how touched I was.  

This winter, I have given everyone a cleaning and a fresh coat of paint.  They are all bright and cheery and ready to go out back out into the yard.

I encourage you all to find a wonderful hobby that brings joy to yourself - and maybe others. It pays off in ways you never imagined.