Lessons Learned - 2020

What would the end of the year be, without a recap.  I am sure you are like me - you both love and dread these recaps. They shows us all the things we enjoyed and wish we could repeat.  They also shows us what was bad and what we would love to forget.

This year certainly has been a struggle. It is hard to reflect on this year and not feel bitter and angry.  This really has been a hard year. Yet, I think there are many things to appreciate about 2020. 

Here are the things I learned in 2020 (in no particular order).

• Friends and family are essential. 
• Getting to touch base with my family and friends took on a special meaning this year. I have always tried to appreciate my friends and family, but this year, I realized just how truly important they are to me. I am grateful for any time I get to spend with them, any note I receive from them, or any time I get to talk to them. Not seeing them all regularly made our get-togethers even better.
• Being outside is awesome.
• I have always needed fresh air and sunshine. This year, I realized that the more I got of both, the better I felt. I learned to embrace long walks in the park. I loved my time on the patio with John. Just taking a drive with the top down made me smile.
• People are clever.
• I was never a big YouTube watcher, but this year, I loved watching the clever skits and songs people created to help make us smile. Cat videos, squirrel obstacle courses, mashups, and the Holderness Family kept my mood positive. There were also so many fantastic websites showing pictures, memes, and sharing knowledge.
• I am okay.
• Normally, I kept so busy that I never really had to spend much time with myself. This year, I have learned to spend a lot of time with myself. I am no substitute for dinner with a good friend or close family member... but I am decent company.  I can sit alone and not go crazy. I can be reflective and stay positive. I can complete puzzles and get joy from the accomplishment. I can read on the porch or just watch the birds at the feeders.  I can find joy in the peacefulness.
• A good job and co-workers should be celebrated.
• I am always grateful when I am lucky enough to have a good job and kind co-workers, but this year has really sharpened my thankfulness. Early in the pandemic, I feared for my job. My co-workers and supervisors gave me peace of mind and showed me that they appreciated me.  They found a way to keep me on staff. It meant so much to me. I appreciate having something to do to fill my days.  And, the support I receive from all of my teammates helps make the days brighter.
• My cats fill me with joy.
• It is almost like our cats know we were struggling this year. They seem more playful. They seem more willing to sit on my lap and just enjoy the quiet with me. They serve as good co-workers and spend their days sleeping in my office. 

Don't get me wrong, this year has been tough, but I have been exceptionally lucky. I am blessed in so many ways. The lessons I learned from 2020 will hopefully stay with me for the rest of my life.  

As this year comes to an end, please take time to find the positive lessons you learned and carry them forward.  

Know Your Email Audience

I love email. I was made for email. I am not good on the phone. In person, I get nervous and tend to speak too much or clam up entirely. Email was a godsend to me. 

Early on, I learned the most valuable lesson of email - know your audience.

When I owned Pretty Good Toys, crafting a strong email became extremely necessary to make a sale. Many of my return customers told me they returned because my emails made ordering easy (back then online shopping carts had not been invented yet and they all ordered through email). 

It was and still is an ongoing struggle to ensure I write informative and strong emails.  Work emails are totally different than personal emails. Emails to co-workers are different than emails to supervisors and executives. Personal emails to your parents are different from emails to your best friend. 

In an ever growing world of virtual communications, you cannot rely on your charming personality to win people over. People will judge you based on your written words. Trust me, people will avoid working with you if your emails are cumbersome, confusing or unhelpful. They will appreciate you more if you answer their emails quickly and tailor your response to fit their need and their email style. People will read your new emails to them, if they have enjoyed your emails in the past. 

Here are the email lessons I have learned (in no particular order):

• Use a descriptive subject/title on your email.
• If your email is important and/or going to executives, project leaders or large groups:
• Reread your email before you send it.
• Be concise; executives and groups don't need fluff, they only want the information they need to know.
• Use good grammar and good spelling; no inappropriate words (remember, emails last forever and can be forwarded and copied to others).
• Clearly mark any task(s) your readers are supposed to complete and provide them the due date for their task(s).
• Avoid acronyms or slang, unless you know your audience understands the meaning.
• Write as though you were explaining yourself to a child. Emails are harder to fully understand, since there are no visual or verbal clues. Ensure you are clear in the who, what, where and when parts of your email.
• Use bullet points when listing multiple items, ideas or suggestions.
• Use short sentences and small paragraphs.
• Use bold and colored text sparingly, as needed, to emphasis a point.
• Try to avoid all caps, unless you really do need to stress a word or idea. 
• Unless you know your audience well, use one email for one thought/discussion. If you have another conversation you need to have with the person, open a new email with a new topic/subject line for the new question or comment.
• If your email recipient uses niceties (thanks, good day, cheers, etc.), you should use them also.  If they get straight to the point, then remove the "extras" from your emails.
• Use emojis and graphics carefully. Sometimes a good picture or emoji is the perfect thing to make your email stand out or be better understood.  Sometimes, emojis are just too much and should be avoided. 
• If you are replying to an email, ensure you read the original email carefully and make sure your reply is appropriate to the original topic(s).  Answers all questions and provides all information requested. 
• Provide any extra information that you know should be shared, based on the original email.

This all sounds easy and intuitive, but trust me, I am still working to improve my skills in this area. I still see some horrible emails. I still occasionally send emails that are confusing or don't really answer the question(s) asked. I think improving my email skills will be a lifelong pursuit.

Better notes ... better friendships

If you have been following my blog since the beginning, you might have read my very first blog "The secret to life... better notes".  I bring this up because I whole-heartedly believe that good notes make my life so much better.  I wanted to expand on how notes also make me a better friend.  

All of us hear comments from our friends that we know we should follow-up on.  For example, a friend says, "my sister is suffering from cancer" or "I am going in for surgery next month".  In your mind, you think, I need to remember that and ask about her sister or ask how surgery went.  

Remember ... your mind is a terrible place to store a note or task.  

Your mind only seems to remember to remind you about your friends at 2 a.m. or while you are in the shower.  It never reminds you when you are sitting at a computer and could send an email, or when you are on the phone with them or visiting with them.

This is where a note comes in.  When I hear or see something from a friend that is important, I create a task to follow-up with them.  If it is a phone call or personal discussion that needs to happen, I create a note "@Linda".  I fill the @Linda with items that I need to talk about with Linda, in person, next time we are together.  When I see her - I pull up that task and then I am assured I won't forget an important topic.  

If your friend is doing something longer-term, create a task that is recurring.  For instance, if your friend is job hunting, set a reminder to check in on them weekly or monthly to see how the search is going.  Let them know you are thinking of them.

There is no shame in admitting that your mind is horrible at reminding you of important things. As a good friend, it is not important how you remembered to ask about something ... just that you did remember.

You are not alone.

I started writing this blog as a work project back in 2018.  I needed to learn about how blogging and social media promotion worked. I wrote a few and learned what I could and then stopped writing my blog posts.

Enter Covid. I found I needed a creative outlet while I social distanced from my friends and family. I began writing my blog again.

I started with the same concept of simple suggestions. I found that some of my blogs were more personal and not necessarily a simple suggestion.  I realized that some were being written because I was trying to work through something personal.  I had issues I was dwelling on and writing about them helped me deal with them. Some of the blogs scared me as I wrote them because I started to realize things about myself that I was unsure about, or was even trying to hide from myself.  

I posted these more personal blog posts and my readers sent me the most amazing notes. They told me how they have struggled with the same issue. Or, they shared that they have been having the same thoughts.  

You can't imagine how helpful it was to realize that I was not alone.

Sometimes I struggle with an issue and I don't want to burden a friend or family member with my thoughts. Sometimes I like to pretend that my life is perfect and I have no issues. 

I have been reminded of a valuable lesson this year... it is okay to have issues.  It is okay to mention them to others.  Sometimes speaking about my issues, helps others. 

Thanks to all my blog readers and their support. It helps more than you know.

Money Well Spent

In the past, I have written on getting out of debt and saving money. And, most of you know I love buying things at garage sales. I am guessing that some of you are thinking that I am very frugal.  

Nothing could be further from the truth.  

I am happy to spend money on things that are important to me or things that help enhance my life. I will cheerfully pay for a wonderful vacation or a fun weekend at a Renaissance Festival or Oktoberfest.  I enjoy a good meal with friends and family. I will happily spend money to throw a party.

I will also gladly pay my cleaning lady and my lawn service.  To me, this is money well spent. I feel like my cleaning lady not only helps keep my house in order, but helps my marriage. John and I do not have to fight over whose turn it is to vacuum or clean the toilet. And, we get to enjoy the time we would spend cleaning - doing something fun. Since neither of us likes to clean, it is best left to a professional.  

Same thing with the lawn service.  Though, in this case, it is more a health issue than a marriage saver.  Our sinuses get too beat up when we mow. 

I have heard from some friends that now that we work from home, we could save a ton of money if we started mowing our lawn and cleaning our house.  Yes, that is true.  Yet, I honestly feel that while we can afford it, employing others keeps us healthier and happier.  I often joke that I would take a second job to continue to afford my cleaning lady and my lawn service.  I enjoy working much more than cleaning or mowing.

In the end, it really is worth it to spend money on things that enhance your life.  We each view this differently and that is okay.  There is no right or wrong, as long as you are not putting your financial future at risk with your decisions.  Embrace and enjoy your financial decisions ... I know we do.

Treasure Your Traditions

My family is big on traditions. When I was younger, I wasn't always thrilled with being involved in so many family traditions and even tried to avoid some of them.  Luckily for me, my family kept up the traditions and kept including me. Now, I honestly treasure all these traditions. The memories are wonderful. I miss them if we have to skip a year or cancel the tradition entirely.

At a small happy hour with my cousin, sister, aunt and mom this summer, the conversation drifted to past Christmas celebrations. We tried to determine how the tradition of eating a full dinner at my grandma's house changed to an appetizer-style party at my house. I realized how even when the specifics of the tradition might have changed, the joy and the memories created after sharing the same traditions, help bond us together. Our happy hour gang laughed over things that happened over the years and truly enjoyed our walk down memory lane.

I know that getting together with family and friends is always fun and creates good memories, but there is something special about getting together year after year, for a specific traditional event. It seems to somehow connect us more, sharing something similar, year after year.  There is something about walking down memory lane together that really does promote closeness.

Year by year, our traditions have changed; people have been added and people have moved away. The hilarious memories of pictures with Santa were only made funnier the year we accidently broke Santa. I would have never thought I would miss that golly little guy.

As I said, we have a bunch of traditions with both family and friends. We are blessed.  As the next generation comes along, I hope we are able to create more traditions and increase the joyful memories we all share.

Why Covid scares me so much

The other day, I was speaking with my massage therapist regarding how scared I was of Covid. She found this so amazing. As many of you know, I am not a germaphobe or a hypochondriac.  I am one of those people that is always touching public doorknobs and light switches to help keep my immune system active. I actually sort of shun hand sanitizer, as I fear it is helping to create a super flu. I am always out and about during flu season; never worrying about catching it. My germaphobe friends find me insane.  

To my defense, I am generally healthy. Even if I catch a cold, normally within a day or two I am better. I get the occasional sinus infection, but even that only lasts a day and is easily handled with a sinus pill.  I take no major medications. I workout regularly and I drink plenty of water. I am not a health nut, but I am careful with my health.

I also have great genes. My family tree is healthy and long-living. Short of the proverbial beer truck hitting me, I really feel like living to 100 is something I can do. 

Given all of this, I never fear dying from the common cold and I really never think about catching the flu. Even if I did, I believe I would be down a day or two and then life would return to normal. 

Enter Covid.

I have no idea how to deal with this. I cannot grasp a virus that can hospitalize me or kill me. My genes will not help me. My overall good health makes no difference. If I get it and live, I could suffer unknown side affects. 

I am not mentally prepared to clean everything, all the time. I am not in the habit of washing my hands 30+ times a day and not touching things out in public. I just don't know how to deal with this.

Thus, I am basically hiding. I know my friends and family think I am a bit over the top. They know that most people my age and health do survive it if they get it. I think they feel I am a bit crazy.

I am working on being cautious without being totally hysteric about Covid, but I am struggling. 

Fortunately, I am surrounded by positive thoughts and people. My closest friends and family are allowing me to deal with this in my own way.  I am blessed. Hopefully I will continue to be lucky and survive this pandemic.

Wishing you all - very good health! 

Making the most of life...what does this mean?

How often have we all heard...

• Live life to the fullest
• Time is precious
• Make the most of your life
• Live every day like it is your last

What does all this mean?  How do we live life to the fullest?  How do we use our time wisely?  

I struggle with this.  

• If I am not busy, does this mean I am not making the most of my days?  
• If I am having a lazy afternoon, am I wasting the time I have left?   
• If I am not being productive, am I going to regret this someday?

As I age, I have learned that living a full life does not mean being active every waking moment.  It really means embracing the moments of our days. 

I have realized that reading a fun spy novel allows my brain to think differently.  Sitting on the porch watching the birds and squirrels, allows me to calm my breathing and understand the world around me. Even taking a nap helps ensure my body and mind get the rest they need.  

To me, making the most of each day no longer means I have to be either trying new things, being productive, or traveling to new places.  It actually means just being the best me I can be. Staying in touch with friends. Working to strengthen my mind.  Enjoying being calm.

I am lucky to have some leisure ("down") time.  I just need to remember that taking advantage of this luxury can also truly be living my life - just on a different level. 

Life Shapers

I recently watched a docudrama on Netflix, "The Social Dilemma".  It was very eye opening and it is definitely giving me a lot to think about. I encourage you to check it out.

This made me wonder if this show would be a life-altering show or just something that will pass out of my mind soon.  This made me wonder what things from my past helped shape my life.

As I sat thinking about this, I jotted down six items that came to mind immediately.  I pondered on my list and realized that maybe sharing them would be a good blog topic.  

So, here are the six, in no particular order.

• Information shared with me from family and friends (and even enemies)
• I figure my friends and family have information to share and it is worth my time to try and learn from them. I have found that most of the time, they really are only trying to be helpful.  If I have an open mind,  I really can learn from them.
• I have also learned from my enemies.  Did I bring on their anger by something I should have done differently? I need to learn from that mistake. Or, are they just a bully? I need to learn to have a thicker skin and ignore them.
• Getting Things Done (GTD), a David Allen Company
• I have certainly talked about my note taking, time and task training, and my two minute rule.  Almost all of these were learned from attending GTD trainings or reading the books.  I really do believe learning these skills early on in life helped me in all aspects of my life.
• Erma Bombeck
• I realize that she is no longer "current", but I still think of her fondly.  She put things in perspective.  Even though I never had kids... a lot of her "life lessons" were wonderful and I still quote her.  She made me realize: life would never be perfect and didn't need to be; engage in life; and, don't sweat the small stuff.  And, she taught me the importance of laughing at life.
• Super Size Me and Morgan Spurlock's 30 Days concept
• Watching Super Size Me when it first came out was so eye opening.  It really made me realize how horrible processed foods could be, when eaten often. It changed my eating habits. I am not saying I never eat fast food or things that are bad for me, but I am careful and consciences about my eating habits.
• I also caught a few of his 30 Days shows (though, not all of them).  It is impressive how doing something for 30 days (or giving something up) can become a habit. I have put this into practice and I usually do find that if I make a change for 30 days, it sticks.
• Consumer Credit Counseling
• John and I used their services early in the 1990's. We were in debt and needed help. Back then, they not only helped you work with creditors, but they helped you learn skills to keep out of debt in the future.  We learned budgeting, money management, cash flow and how to save money. These lessons really did change our lives and our marriage.  We still comment often how grateful we were to them for things they taught us.  We hated it while we were going through it - but it really did positively effect us both in the long run.
• Real Simple magazine
• I received this magazine for years (though, I must admit, I no longer receive the magazine, but I do still read some of their articles online). I learned a lot from their suggestions and helpful articles.  During the time I faithfully read it, they taught simple and inexpensive ways to do a ton of things.

Do you have a life shaper?  I would love to know the things that you consider life shapers.

Working From Home - Saving Money

My company recently announced that most of the local area employees would permanently work from home. The offices were originally slated to open back up in early 2021, but the decision has been made to continue with the virtual offices.  

Some of my friends and co-workers were disappointed with this decision.  They enjoy the interaction of their fellow employees. They like being part of a larger community during the day. I get that. Even though I have always preferred working from home, I understood that I was in the minority with my thinking most of the time.

I want to give you all food-for-thought on working from home.  You save money.  And, possibly more than you think.

• Eating at home
• John and I generally took our lunch to work, but we estimated we ate out once a week, which was normally $15. Eating at home (or even taking your lunch to work) is approximately $2-5. Let's estimate that at saving $12 a week.  That is $600 a year (with two week's off for vacation).
• Gas
• We used to fill our tanks at least once a week, sometimes twice a week.  Working from home, we fill up maybe once a month.  We estimate a tank at $25 for ease of the math.  This is a savings of $75.  For our two cars, that is $150 per month or $1,800 per year.
• Clothes / Accessories
• Let's face it, neither of us gets dressed up to sit at the computer at ome.  We might toss on a polo or dress shirt for video calls, but we are not putting on dress pants, socks and nice shoes. Our clothing allowance was approximately $1,500 per year/per person.  I think last year we maybe spent $500 for both of us.  For me, working from home also means buying less makeup, purses, jewelry, and hair products.  We estimate we save approximately $2,800 per year.
• Insurance
• My car and home owners insurance gave me a discount when I informed them we were working from home.  We bundle all of this with other policies, but we believe we save approximately $250 a year.
• Car Maintenance
• We need fewer oil changes since we base our oil changes on mileage. There is less chance of getting a flat tire, needing brake repair or just general wear/tear on our cars. We also don't pay to wash our car as much, since they don't leave the garage as often. This one is hard to put a dollar amount to, but based on rough estimates, we save about $1,000 a year.

Overall, we estimate that we are saving at least $6,450.  One year end financial report I ran, when we both worked from home originally, we had actually saved right at $9,000 that year. 

I hope maybe this helps ease the pain of working from home for some of you.  

If you want to review some other helpful hints for working from home, please check out my blog, "Working From Home - Simple Helpful Hints".

Don't be afraid to schedule important notes, emails and cards

Have you ever realized too late that you forgot to wish a good friend a happy birthday or anniversary?  Or, missed sending a note to someone to remind them of something they needed to know.

Schedule them. 

Usually on Wednesdays, I go through my personal and business calendars for the following week.  I check them to see what birthdays, anniversaries and important events/meetings are coming up during the next week.  Then, as needed, I go ahead and create an email wishing the person a good day. I then use the scheduling/delay delivery feature of my email program to set the date and time to schedule the email.  

I use this same process to remind people of things they need to know. I have even used this to schedule an email to myself, to ensure if it is something very important - that an email reminder hits my inbox.

If it is an event that I should send a snail mail, I go ahead and get the card together.  I put the date it needs to go to the mailbox where the stamp will go.  Then, I set them where I will check them each day.  On the day it needs to go to the mailbox, I put a stamp over the date and mail it out.

I know that some people feel like this is "cheating" and that I should care enough about each person to send the notes on the actual day of the special event.  

To them, I say - hogwash.  

I care about my friends and family enough to take extra care to ensure I don't miss their special day.  Just because I might do this a few days prior, doesn't mean I care less.  If the email shows up on the right day, what difference does it make when I created it?   The smile it brings to recipient's face is all I care about.

So, plan ahead and make great use of scheduling features.  It saves you having to send out a "belated" note.

Picture Your Stuff...

The other day I was speaking with a friend about taking pictures of my stuff every year.  She did not know exactly what I meant by that.

A little history ... years ago, I helped a friend clean up after her house fire. What a horrible nightmare.  The forms you had to fill out were extensive and terrible. You were expected to list everything you owned and the quantity of those items. We would stand there with me filling out the form and her trying to remember how many of what were in each of the burned out drawers and closets.  It was all in ashes or in a wet pile. It is a vision I will never forget.

As you read this, try and think about what is in your closets and drawers.  How many t-shirts do you have? How many kitchen gadgets do you own? What is hidden in that basement closet you never look in? 

So, once a year, we try and walk around the house and take videos and/or pictures of everything.  I open drawers, cabinets and closets.  I capture shots of library and curio shelves. I grab shots of the pictures on the walls.  I put a flash drive with these pictures/videos in the fire safe. I also keep copies on the network, if space allows.

This would by no means give me a true count of everything I owned, should the worse happen and we have a house fire.  But, I figure it will help jog my memory.

And... there is a fun, extra bonus.  Occasionally I glance at old pictures and enjoy seeing the decorations I used and the way things around the house have changed over the years.

The Terrific Task List

I admit it ... I love my task list. I think it is truly terrific!  

I know that many of you are groaning at the thought of a task list, much less loving it.  You are thinking that tasks equate to chores. Sometimes they are.  But, in many cases, they are wonderful reminders of fun things. 

Some of my tasks are recurring and some are single items. Some occur yearly, while others may be nothing more than a simple reminder of a note I have taken (remember my blog, "The secret to life... better notes").

I use tasks list to track almost everything:

• Post weekly blog
• Change air filter
• Plan a monthly dinner with friends
• Check out websites for the monthly fairs and festivals
• Send Christmas cards
• Book a massage
• Plan a family outing
• Water plants

The list goes on and on. 

I currently keep my tasks in either my email program or on my calendar (depending on what sort of task it is and if it is personal or professional).  I check my task lists daily to ensure nothing is falling through the cracks. I complete the task or I move it if it something I should actually do tomorrow or later in the week. I delete it if I know I no longer need it. Remember, just because you create the task, doesn't mean you ever have to do it (see my blog post "I am never going to do that"). 

I sleep better - having a task list I trust.  I don't wake at 2 am thinking about something I need to remember to do. My mind is wonderful at waking me at 2 am, but it is horrible at actually remembering to remind me of the task when I am awake and at a place I can do the task. For me, that is enough of a reward to get in the habit of keeping up my task lists.

Shoe rack or winter wear holder?

We do not have a mud room. We do have a laundry room right off our garage door and we tend to use that as our mud room.  Our car keys hang on the wall, my purse hangs on a hook, and various things we might need if we are heading out for the day are in this small room.  

Originally, when we moved into the house, we kept gloves, hats and scarves in the hall coat closet. We realized that a lot of the time, we threw our coat over the kitchen chair and then ran out of the house without gloves or a scarf, because we didn't think about it in our rush out the door.  

I saw a lot of people putting baskets in their mud rooms to store these items, but I didn't have the room for a setup like that.

Solution:  a shoe rack.  

I found one of those door shoe racks at a garage sale and it was perfect.  I nailed it to the wall and placed my gloves, hats and scarves in the little slots. 

This also makes us realize how many glove sets we own. Now, if we find a cool set of gloves at a garage sale, we can easily look and see which pair we no longer need and put them in the goodwill box (remember my rule from my decluttering blog... one in/one out). 

We can now quickly grab our winter gear when we grab our keys. 

Added bonus: I can keep other small things I need in the extra pockets.

Being a 3 out of 5 is okay

I was listening to a webinar on happiness the other day. The speaker was discussing an annual review where she was rated as "meets expectations".  She was told 'being a 3 out of 5 is honestly okay'.  I was dumbfounded and confused by this concept.

As you might have read in my blog on my not being perfect, I strive for perfection a lot of the time.  The thought of not receiving an "exceeds expectations" on a performance review just made my stomach hurt.

She went on to explain that the year before she had done a special project and went above and beyond her normal job. She worked a lot of extra hours, nights and weekends. She received a fantastic review that year.  Then, the next year, she did her job well and received the 3 out of 5.

She was disappointed and shared with us that she questioned her supervisor regarding the lower rating. The supervisor told her that the year before, she went way above and beyond her role and received the high rating. This year, she did her job well and therefore received the normal rating. She asked what would have gotten her a amazing review. Her supervisor told her that she would have had to take on another special project, work nights and weekends and go above and beyond. Her supervisor asked her if she liked the idea of another year of working nights and weekends. She stated she did not. She was asked if she liked giving up time with her family and friends to take on another special project.  She did not. The supervisor explained to her that then meeting her job requirements was the perfect score on her review and she should be happy with the rating.

I could tell from watching her, that this really bugged her at the time.  And... it would really bug me. She admitted it troubled her. She said she felt disappointed in herself and with her supervisor, until she really started thinking about what the supervisor had asked her.  She had enjoyed the special project and was proud of the work, but she needed a break the following year.  She enjoyed the time with her family and friends, and the time away from work.   

She began to understand that a rating of 3 meant she was good at her job.  It meant that she did not need to improve her work. It meant she had improved her work-life balance. This was not wrong and did not make her a bad employee.  I could tell as she talked about it, that she did truly realize that this rating was not in insult. 

Trust me... it took awhile to fully come to an understanding of her story.  I replayed the concept in my mind. I started writing this blog about it. As I progressed, I realize it really would be okay to be good at your job and good at your life.  I understood that exceeding at your job came at a price.  Sometimes it is great and necessary to exceed at your job and pay the price, but sometimes it is great to meet the expectations of your job - and live your life equally.

Top 10 List (and Thank You)

I was curious which of my blog post you all seemed to find the most useful or the most fun to read. 

Here are the top ten most read blog posts:

1. Two-Minute Rule – Helping to tackle procrastination and time management 120 seconds at a time
2. Be Kind To Each Other

   

   
   

3. Decluttering … The project I have learned to love
   
4. My Covid-19 Scare
5. My journey to be “Smiley” again
6. I am not perfect
7. Working From Home - Simple Helpful Hints
8. Lessons Learned - Getting Out of Debt
9. Extra vacation cash – made easy
10. Keeping Kudos

I have to admit, your list is pretty close to what my list would be.  You and I enjoyed the Two-Minute Rule the best. Though, I was a little disappointed to not see one of my pets blogs on the list, as those are fun for me to write. Some of your top reads made sense to me and some of the ones not on the list sort of surprised me. But, overall, I was glad to see that I was getting a pretty steady readership.  And, that some of my blogs you were apparently finding useful, rereading and even sharing. 

Now that I have been doing this for awhile, I realize that many of these blogs I have written as much for myself, as for you all.  I find it therapeutic to write this blog.  It is funny, I keep a list of topics I might write on. Then, when I am in a writing mood, I go through my topics list.  Sometimes I can tell that my mood is very upbeat and I pick topics that are cheery and bright.  Other times I look at at the list and realize that I have a strong need to write about something I am struggling with.  

No matter why you read my blogs, I am honored that you do.  I know you have a lot of options out there and you probably don't have a ton of time each day to read blogs.  The fact you give me some of your time is a huge compliment to me.

And... if there is ever a topic you wish I would write on, please let me know. 

I am always looking for topics.

Don't sweat the small stuff... and it almost all small stuff

For those of you that have read my blogs over the years, you know that I am a worrier (mentioned in my blog, "I am not perfect").  I worry about things I can control, along with things I cannot control. 

I have been working very hard these past few years, to stop all the worrying and focus on productive and positive things.  Giving up worrying is tough though, I have decades of the learned behavior.

Enter the concept of not sweating the small stuff. 

The more I work to stop worrying, the more I realize that most of the stuff is VERY small.  Worrying does not help fix the issue or problem. It does ensure I loose sleep, eat poorly, am grumpy and have to fight that much harder to be positive.  If this were any other terrible habit, I would have worked years ago to stop it. If it were an illness, I would have seen a doctor. And, if it were something in my house that caused me this much trouble, I would have driven it to the dump myself to finally be rid of it. 

But, worrying is like an old friend to me. I mistakenly think of it as "caring" about an issue or problem. It gives me comfort to think that if I am worrying about something - I care about it.

For instance, if I am working on a presentation and something is not working right - I worry about it. In a warped part of my mind, I think that really does mean I care about how it turns out.

Craziness, I know. 

Instead, I am trying to look at everything in a new light.  Can I fix the issue?  Is there a video I can watch or an article I can read that will teach me how to fix the issue?  Can I create a work-around that will produce what my boss wants? Is anyone going to die if the presentation is not 100 percent perfect? 

And... honestly, that is the big question... is anyone going to die?  If the answer is "no", then there should be nothing to worry about. Caring about doing a good job, should not create worry. Caring about being a good friend/neighbor/family member, etc, should not cause worry.  Worry is a true waste of energy.

I have a friend and mentor (you know who you are and I thank you for your teachings) that has been working with me over the past few years to stop me from worrying.  Each month I get a little better.  I am kicking the worrying habit. 

I am learning that my old friend, worry, is not a good friend and I need to cut him from my life. 

Is this a work in progress... sure.  It took me almost two years to cut soda from my life and I only drank it for a few decades.  Worry has been with me pretty much my entire life.  But... I really do hope to read this someday in the future and realize that I kicked the worry habit entirely. 

All I can say to my younger friends that might be reading this is to stop worrying right now.  The sooner you kick this habit, the better.  It will never mean you don't care. It just means you are wasting energy on something stupid. 

Yellow Coverall-wearing Minion...

"Not my job." 
"Not in my job description."
"This job is beneath me."

How many times have we heard these, or even thought them ourselves. Honestly, these thoughts should be eliminated from your mind. Working is a privilege and having a steady job is a blessing. I am not saying that we should stay in a horrible job or work for terrible people. But, if you have a decent job with a good company and fair managers - be proud and work hard and don't sweat the small stuff.

How do I know this?

• I started out as a waitress. 
• Talk about "beneath me"... things people ask for or require you to do to serve them is eye opening.  I learned the more I said "yes" with a smile, the larger my tips were.  "Beneath me" became a nonexistent thought for me and I was able to pay my bills.
• Then I worked for a temporary agency.
• Getting to be part of so many different departments, companies and industries showed me the good, the bad and the ugly parts of businesses and managers. Again, I was asked to complete a large variety of projects and jobs. I realized people that were willing to go the extra mile with their job were appreciated and respected.
• Moved through some permanent employment roles.

• Here I learned that a good paycheck is not a reason to stay at a company and work for a horrible manager (money truly does not buy happiness). I also learned that it is okay to not take every promotion offered you. If you know you are no good at managing people, don't become a manager.  I am a very good task person, but I am not a good people leader.  It is okay to "just" be a very good yellow-coverall-wearing minion.
• Started my own company and assisted my husband with his company.
• Here is where I truly learned that "not in my job description" was not an option. Everything was my responsibility. Every decision was mine.  Every little job was mine. If I wanted to get paid, it all had to be done. If I wanted to gain more customers, I had to go the extra mile and do things I might not really want to do. 
• Closed my company and went back into the corporate world.
• I learned I was grateful to have good co-workers who would help me and managers that supported me.  It was great to not have to be responsible for every single decision. It was very nice to have a steady paycheck and insurance again.

It all pays the same.

Honestly, this was the best thing I learned. I have cleaned break-room refrigerators, taken out the trash, opened mail, along with planning corporate leadership events, leading projects and special programs, and being an important part of a team.  It really does all pay the same. Some days I looked forward to running office errands.  The time in the car, away from the normal grind, was a great diversion. Some days filing invoices was just the mental break I needed to make the afternoon hours go by. The important parts of my job were actually no more important than the little and simple parts of my job.

Are their parts of my job I don't like ... of course.  
Do I do them with a smile on my face (and whine about them to John in private) ... sure.  
Am I proud of my ability to put my ego aside and just do the work that needs to be done ... absolutely.

I am a good minion and happy.  

Giving Kudos...

Earlier this year, I posted a blog on keeping kudos.  I would like now to discuss the importance of giving kudos. If you feel amazing receiving a kudos, imagine how wonderful you can make someone else feel.

I try daily to give a compliment or a kudos to someone.  I have found that the more I got in the habit, the easier it became.

For instance:

• Notice that your grocery store cashier has a nice haircut. Compliment her. You will make her day.
• Enjoy a great dinner with a friend, send them a note the next day complimenting them on their cooking.  Mention something specific, to help your friend know you really gave your compliment some thought.
• My company has a "cheers for peers" website where we can post appreciation cards to co-workers. A copy is sent to their manager. I try to send one or more a week to people that help me or to someone that went an extra mile.  The recipient is thrilled and their boss knows they are doing a great job.
• Your friends come to a patio party you threw together last minute. Send them a quick thank you and let them know you appreciate their giving up their time to spend it with you. 
• Snail mail a card to a friend to tell them you appreciate their friendship or thank them for something special they did for you. Who doesn't like finding a card in their mailbox.
• Send a loved one a small gift or flowers or candy - just to say they mean something to you.
• Send an email to a company letting them know one of their workers gave you great service.

The options are endless and the rewards are huge.  Friends, family and strangers alike always appreciate being thought of and appreciated. 

And... you never know... your kudos might end up on their kudos wall.

Discussing Death... Desirable or Dangerous?

Is it okay to talk about death?

Is it tempting fate to plan for dying?

It seems that people are hesitant or even afraid to discuss their death.  I know some of my adult friends are afraid to create a will or trust. I know grown children that do not know the wishes of their parents or even their spouses true wishes. I know many families that do not know the financials and important contacts for close family members.

Years ago, I had a friend whose parents died suddenly in a car accident. The situation was tragic.  The couple was in their 60's and still very vibrant and active. Loosing them was hard on my friend, but would become harder as time went by. The couple did not have a will. They did not have their financials spelled out. They were partners in multiple businesses. They owned a home. They had accounts at multiple financial institution. My friend spent over a year trying to settle their estate. Just obtaining the ability to pay their normal bills while they went through the house was an issue.

During my covid-19 scare, I couldn't help but think that possibly I could die if I caught covid. Luckily, I know my affairs are in order.  My family and friends know my wishes.

I highly recommend, if you haven't already done it, start getting your affairs in order. Sadly, you never know what your future holds. 

What should you consider doing?  Here is what I have done. If you know something I missed, please add a comment. 

• Created a trust, living will and a health care directive
• Added a provision for my cats
• Placed my house, cars and financial accounts in the name of the trust
• Placed my documents in my fire safe
• Told my family where the documents are located
• Included a list of account numbers and important contact information
• Told my family and friends I prefer to be cremated with a fun party thrown in my honor
• I also complete a yearly check to ensure my documents are up-to-date

I agree this is not a fun subject, but I believe it is a necessary process.  

And... doing all this did not cause my death.   😀

Treat yourself as you would your best friend.

How many of us berate ourselves or treat ourselves with judgement and self-disappointment?  Yet, I venture to guess that we treat our closest friends with nothing but care, concern, compassion and love.

I was reading an article given to me by my mom (thanks, mom).  One section of the article spoke about self-talk.  It really made me think about how we talk to ourselves, especially if we are going through a tough time.

I find that I push myself to get over the problem and find the silver lining, before I have even truly taken the time to understand the tough times I am going through.  I berate myself for feeling sorry for myself.  I punish myself for not pulling up my big girl pants and moving on. 

After reading this article, I realized that I would never do this to my close friends, especially when they first experience their tough time. I try to be sympathetic and caring. I listen while they talk through the issue. I try to offer kind words. If possible, I try to find a way to help. I encourage them to find a way through their difficulty, but I don't push or demand they must immediately be "better".

I am going to try and work on this, personally.  If you are like me, I encourage you to treat yourself with the same kindness you would your closest friends.

Next time you are going through a difficult time, ask yourself (out loud if you can - it really does make it more "real" feeling):

• What is the issue? Explain what is going on.
• How can I support what you are feeling?
• How can I help you?
• What does working through this look like?

We actually are allowed to love ourselves, as much as we love our friends. I think this new way of thinking will help me love to myself better.

Three: The Perfect Number of Choices

Early in my adult life, John ran across an article that stated that three choices was the perfect number to give someone. I was fascinated with this concept. Over the years, it has truly played out to be true.

What is the basic logic behind this?  People like choices, but not too many choices.  

Too many choices cause confusion.  Which should I choose?  What if I choose incorrectly? How do I compare all these options?  My brain can't comprehend how to make a decision with so much input.

Only two choices, your mind will worry that you chose wrong and should have picked the other one. 

Three seems to be the perfect number. To use Goldilocks... one is too hard and one is too soft, so the last choice is just right.  In other words, your brain can do a process of elimination, easily deciding that two options are not right which leaves the third option as the perfect answer.  No need to second guess the choice, because you used a process of elimination to come to a decision your mind can live with.

Three being the magic number seemed way too easy.  John found this article before the internet, so I had to do a little private testing of my own to see if this really was true.  I would give people two options and a lot of times they would veto both and ask for other options.  I would give them four or more and they would ask me to whittle down the choices.  It became apparent that the power of three was a real thing. In today's world, if you google the power of three you can fall down a rabbit hole.  Writers, marketers, comedians, business strategist, etc. have posts and websites dedicated to this concept.

You can use this for yourself also. Not sure what to have for dinner?  Give yourself three choices and see how fast your mind can delete two.  Not sure what to wear to work?  Pull three shirts and suddenly, you know exact what would work best that morning.  Not sure which bird feeder you want from amazon, put three of them in your cart and suddenly, you can delete two pretty easily.  

I am constantly shocked how many times this little trick of three works.  Every now and then, for the fun of it, I give people four to five choices and watch their brain work.  Then, I offer to eliminate one or more to get them to three and suddenly, they can make a choice.  

So, save yourself time and if someone asks you for options, give them three.  Don't expend any extra energy to come up with more options. They will be happiest choosing between three things and your job will be done.  

I am not perfect

I know that none of you are surprised to read ... I am not perfect.

I am happy to admit to anyone that I make mistakes.  But, behind the scenes, I always wanted to be perfect. I honestly thought that if I tried hard enough, I could get close to perfect.

Boy… was I wrong.

The older I get, the more I realize how absolutely imperfect I am.  And, the happier I am in this awareness.

In the past, I worried about pretty much everything. Would everyone have a good time at my dinner party? Would my presentation be flawless? Were my house decorations acceptable? Did my clothes portray the right message? Was I being professional? On and on and on. If I realized that I had made a mistake at work or that one of the dinner guests didn’t like my dessert, I would fret for days.  I would try and determine what I could have done differently. I would stress more the next time when I had that friend over for dinner, or completed a similar work project. I would say “sorry” more than I should. I honestly felt bad if I planned an outside event for work or for friends and it rained or the weather was not perfect.  Yes… I was that neurotic.

I was a hot mess.

As I have gotten older, I have worked to understand that not being perfect is part of being human. It is okay to make mistakes. It is okay to dress in a style that suits me, but might not be fashionable.  It is okay to decorate my house in yard sale goodies and craigslist finds. It is okay to admit you made a mistake, without agonizing over it for days. It is okay if it rained on my outside event.

I learned that people will still respect me if I am not perfect. They will still come to my house for dinner if the meal is not what they hoped for and the chairs are second-hand specials. They will be my friend when I stumble and fall. I honestly believe that people find it easier to be around me, now that I am not always striving to be perfect.

I am not perfect.  And with that comes learning from my mistakes, embracing my flaws and loving the person I am, flaws and all.

Embracing My Inner Crazy Cat Lady - Loving Your Pets

For years, I didn’t want to be considered a “crazy cat lady”.  I have cats and I love them - but I would never be "that type of crazy cat lady".

For the last few decades, I have enjoyed having two or three cats at any given time. Yet, I hated the perception that I was one of “those” ladies. I believed a pet enhanced your life and your job was to feed them and love them, but not to turn your life around for them; they were just pets after-all.

I think I did an injustice to my early cats. I treated them well and spoiled them often, but I was hesitant to totally commit to being a great pet owner. I didn’t feel like I should change our lifestyle to better fit theirs. I figured my friends and family would visit my house and make fun of me for having a cat-friendly house.

Then, a little over a decade ago, my husband and I were lucky enough to attend some behind the scenes classes at our local zoo. We learned from the zookeepers that animals need more enrichment.  We hadn’t really heard that concept before.  As we saw the variety of ways zookeepers were enriching different animal groups, we realized that we were not really enriching our cats, we were just caring for them.

We decided to work on improving our cat's lives. We figured that if we chose to adopt them ... we needed to be better guardians of not only their health, but their mental well-being.

We lucked into a few cat condos at various garage sales. We moved our chairs away from the windows and put their condos at the windows. I purchased them a window seat that I move around to different windows in the house. We started rotating toys and boxes. We began making time to play string with them or teach them simple tricks.

We were amazed at the difference it made with our cats. They are more active than most of our previous cats. They seem to stay younger, longer and appear healthier. They are more engaged with us. They play with each other more than our previous groups did.  We comment to each other, often, that we feel like much better pet guardians these days.

From my cats to you … please, give yourself permission to totally embrace making your pet(s) a true part of your family. They deserve it and will reward you for your efforts.

Lessons Learned - Getting Out of Debt

Many years ago, John and I got ourselves into debt. The internet was not a thing back then, so for help, we went to the local consumer credit counseling service.

It was brutal! They were tough!

It took a few years to get out of trouble and it took a few more years to get good at using their advice. They taught us a lot of great things and to this day, this experience changed our lives for the better.

Looking back, here are some things I still remember and try to live by:

• Track your spending.
• You can’t know what part of your income is needed to pay bills versus what part of your income can be considered disposable.
• Embrace budgeting.
• Make a game of it, “can I meet my budget”. It gets easier. It also gets more exciting the more times you meet or exceed your budget goals. 
• Think of it like Candy Crush, the more you match things, the more fun it becomes and the larger prizes you obtain.
• Remember to budget for future events (trips, larger purchases, home improvements, etc).  {If you are planning a trip, remember to check out my blog on “extra vacation cash - made easy”.}
• Pay yourself.
• Put a little money each month into a retirement or investment fund; your future self will thank you.
• Learn not to waste money on the extras.
• I love a good coffee drink or blizzard as much as anyone, but I learned that I don’t need one daily or weekly. I treat myself only every month or so. 
• Not only do I save a bunch of money, but I enjoy the treat even more when I allow myself the indulgence.
• It is okay to buy second hand goods.
• As many of you know, my house is decorated with garage sale, flea market and Craigslist finds. I almost never pay retail for something new. My house won’t make the cover of decorators digest, but it is warm and inviting. My friends and family know if they spill or break something, there is a 99 percent chance I didn’t pay much for it and I will enjoy searching sales to replace it.

The best thing we learned was:

Material things don’t bring happiness.

• If you see a home decoration, clothing item or gadget you just “have to have”... think about it honestly. Do you have the disposable income to purchase this? Do you really need it to make you happy? Could you find it second hand? Could you buy a lower-grade/priced item? 
• We try to wait a week or two and then revisit the purchase we want to make. If it still seems like a good purchase and we have the funds, we purchase it.  Most times, we realized it was just a spur of the moment “need” and it passed and we can use the money for something else.

Hobby … What is a Hobby?

I struggled with “what is a hobby?” for years.  What makes a hobby, a hobby?  What is a good hobby?  What is just a waste of time?

Many years ago, I was told by a few people and some classes I took, that I should find a hobby (or a few hobbies) to help calm my mind and my soul and allow myself to decompress.  Honestly, I found the idea of trying to find a hobby extremely stressful.  What was a good use of my time?  What constitutes a worthwhile hobby?

At the time, I thought that hobbies were crafts, playing an instrument, or joining a club. Something useful. Something that allowed me to grow as a person. I believed that a hobby should at the very least pay for itself or possibly make extra income.

Let’s face it, I was doomed. I am not crafty. I can’t play an instrument. I am not really a joiner. I struggled a lot to find something I was decent at, that didn’t cost a lot of money, and was a good use of my time.

I failed. Miserably.

I gave up the quest and just worked more or dove into home projects that would show benefits.

Spring forward a few years and I am in the same boat - people are telling me to find a hobby.  UGH.  I am starting to hate the concept of a hobby.

But, I knew people were correct. I decided to take a much different approach to finding this elusive hobby.  I asked people what they did for fun and relaxation.  I asked what they considered a hobby to be.  I searched the internet for hobby ideas.  Most importantly, I gave up on the concept that a hobby should be useful and make money.  I realized from listening to others, that hobbies were meant to be time wasters (and not in a bad way). They were truly meant to calm your mind and soul. They did not need to be useful or even worthwhile. They were just meant to allow me to relax and find a different kind of peace.  I didn’t even need to be good at the hobby, as long as I enjoyed it.

So, I took up puzzles and word games. I painted my yard animals. I embraced picking weeds out of my landscaping while listening to a book on tape.  I realized that walking was a hobby and so was reading.  I began reading books for fun again and taking long walks in the nearby park.

I began to understand that my interpretation of what a hobby was my true issue.  I gave the word so much weight, that it was destroying my ability to grasp its true purpose and meaning.

I have realized now, that it is okay to allow yourself to enjoy the very simple hobbies life has to offer.  There is no right or wrong hobby.  And, most importantly, hobbies do improve your mind and soul. You just have to embrace them for what they are...an activity done regularly in one's leisure time for pleasure.

I am thankful for...

What are you thankful for? 

I know it is getting harder and harder to find things to be thankful for. Many of us still have good health and that certainly something to be thankful for.  But, there are still horrible stressors continuing to consume our daily: the rise in Covid case numbers, the ongoing civil rights issues, the upcoming election, the uncertainty with jobs, etc.

It is overwhelming.

It can be really hard to remember that some things are still good in our lives.

I sent this to a few friends, back during the self-quarantine and thought it was worth sharing with you all.  If are you like me and struggling to stay thankful, complete either or both of these thankful lists. They will make you think, smile and hopefully give you a little peace during these trying times.

I am thankful for...
List items for each letter of the alphabet.
Examples:
A = Action Movies - which give me a great distraction now and then
Z = Zelda, Ziggy and Zoey - they are always a source of entertainment and love.

I am thankful for...
Complete the list below, or create your own list and share it with family and friends.

• Ability
• Activity
• Animal / Pet
• Book
• Color
• Event
• Family
• Food
• Friend
• Holiday
• Invention(s)
• Movie
• Music
• Object
• Person
• Place
• Season
• Something I Own
• Technology
• Thing(s) in Nature
• Vacation

My Covid-19 Scare

If you need a reality check that we are still fighting Covid-19 ... receive a note stating that someone you were near, has been diagnosed positive for having Covid-19.

John and I have been very careful during the Covid-19 pandemic. We have been social distancing and wearing masks. We have been watching our "circle of trust" carefully and generally only seeing small groups on patio parties. We have been doing our best to stay away from all things Covid.

Well, a short time ago, we went to a small outside party. We brought our own chairs and drinks. We sat somewhat near others, but we tried to remember to keep our distance.  Since it was an outside party, we didn't wear masks, but we honestly felt safe with the people we were visiting. The guests had been as careful as we had been and a few of them, we had seen once or twice since the outbreak, so we were fairly sure our circle of trust was solid.

Then, the note came that one person in the group tested positive.  Of course, I spoke to this person often during the party and sat near them for a portion of the get together.  And, of course, I suffer from sinus issues normally, so I suffer from many of the Covid symptoms by default.

Now, bring in the worry and panic. Although I know that I was outside and staying a decent distance from others, I can't help but wonder... do I have Covid?  The night I received the note, I laid awake wondering:

• Will I be one of those people who believes they are healthy enough to survive it and yet suffers horribly.
• What if I die?
• Is the fact I have troubles breathing because of my sinus issues - or Covid?
• How do I combat a tiny microorganism I can't see?
• Should I get tested? Or, wait for more symptoms?
• How will I afford the medical bills if I end up in the hospital for a month?
• What if John gets it?
• And... so on and so on.  I am sure you can only imagine what runs through your mind.

I then reminded myself:

• I am blessed.
• I have had an amazing life so far.
• I have a wonderful social circle.
• I have a great house for social distancing.
• I have a good job that allows me to social distance.

John and I canceled our few upcoming appointments and are in self-quarantine again. We are on our second week, so we are fairly confident that we did not contract it.  So far, no one else from the party has gotten it and the person that caught it, had a very mild case. 

I consider us all lucky. But, talk about a reality check.  I know with everything going on, Covid almost seems like an after thought and it is easy to think it is "over". Trust me, once you get a note that someone you recently spent time with is positive, you will remember it is out there and can kill you.

Stay healthy everyone.  

Keeping Kudos

Remember that amazing feeling you get when someone gives you a kudos? It warms your heart. Makes you feel special. Appreciated. Gives you an ego boost.

Fast forward to a bad day. You just know no one likes you. No one appreciates the hard work you are doing. No one cares that you went about five extra miles to do something that was then not needed. Where is the love? Where are the kudos? Where is the ego boost?

If you are like me, some days make it hard to remember ever being appreciated. It might feel like no one ever thanks you for anything. You are having a truly horrible day.

I recommend keeping your kudos.

There is nothing wrong or egotistical about wanting to remember and reflect on past praise. Honestly, it feels good to wander down your kudos memory lane.

• I have a few ways that I keep kudos.
• I have a folder that I keep at my desk with thank you cards or letters that I have received.
• When I had a cube, I kept the kudos notes pinned to my cube wall.
• I have an email folder that I put in thank you and kudos emails.
• I have a picture folder on my computer which includes pictures of flowers or plants that I have received as a thank you gift.
• I use a picture of my kudos cards or flowers as a lock screen or background on one of my devices.

When the going gets tough or I just need a smile, I pull out my card folder and look at the nice things people took the time to send to me. Or, I glance at my pictures and read my emails. It helps remind me that people do appreciate when you are helpful or kind. People do notice when you have gone the extra mile. Even if today is horrible, there is a very strong reason to continue to do my best. Out of the blue, someone might notice and even send you a thank you note. Embrace the kudos, you earned it

People are People

People are people. I forget this more often than I care to admit. I catch myself seeing people as better than me or, in some cases, worse than me. I place unfair expectations on some people and almost no expectations on others. I put some people on a pedestal, while hardly noticing other people. 

{Note: I have been struggling with this blog and have rewritten it many times over the course of many weeks. A good friend of mine reminded me that “blogging is a great way to work things out for yourself”.  I know this is true for this blog… I had a need to write this one.Sadly, I know the concept I want to share, but I am having issues explaining it. It either comes off as preachy or just plain ridiculous. Hopefully, this final rewrite works. I completed this before all the unrest occurred, but I think the basic premise holds true, now more than ever. Remember, I write these to be helpful and I hope you understand that as you read this.}

I was sitting on a call the other day with a high titled executive and some of my peers. I was nervous that I would say something silly and be judged. I expected the executive to be more knowledgeable than me and just give me my marching orders, as they say.  During the call, the executive requested our input on the project and genuinely appreciated our thoughts. The executive admitted they had not thought of some things we mentioned. The executive had internet issues and dropped from the call for a bit.  The executive could not put their hands on some documents we were referring to. The executive seemed embarrassed and flustered with the issues.

I was reminded how human we all are. We value the input of others, especially if it is something we had not thought of. We are all embarrassed when we have issues or cannot find information we should have right in front of us. It made me realize that I had put that executive on a pedestal that was unfair and unrealistic. Because of the title, I somehow expected “perfection”.

I realized that I had forgotten that people are people. We all have the same human characteristics.  We all have: fears, emotions, joys, goals, good days, bad days, loves, hates, wins, losses, disappointments, challenges, mistakes, celebrations, etc.

It doesn’t matter what you do for a living or who you are. You may be a: parent, teacher, gas station attendant, executive, assistant, official, blue collar worker, older adult, boss, spiritual leader, cleaner, professional, politician, warehouse worker, leader, retail associate, ditch digger, housewife, etc. No one is immune from human emotions.

We all have feelings and doubts. We have good and bad days. We want to be loved, respected, admired and cared about. We want others to like us. We have all made mistakes and want to be forgiven for these mistakes. We want the ability to be recognized for a job well done. We want to have a lazy Sunday now and then. We all own that ugly t-shirt or sweater that we love and wear around the house when we think we won’t see anyone that day. We all have a “guilty-pleasure” show or book we enjoy and we all enjoy a great joke. We all do embarrassing things in public. We all want to enjoy life.

The older I get, the more I realize that my parents (sorry mom and dad), bosses, friends, family and co-workers are all human … just like me. They fret over saying the wrong thing. They want to receive that unexpected note from a friend or invitation to lunch. They enjoy a random compliment. They have bad hair days. They want to share a secret or be asked their opinion on something. They also occasionally want to be left alone.

I work hard to try and remember that everyone I deal with is a person (both in good and bad ways). I try to remember that they deserve to be treated respectfully. They deserve the benefit of the doubt since I don’t know what sort of day they are having.

I think it is important to remember that we are all JUST people - nothing more; nothing less. People are people.