Packing for a trip

I was enjoying dinner with a friend the other day.  We were discussing traveling.  I love traveling and we occasionally share stories about our travels.

I come from a family of travelers, and they have been teaching me tips and tricks for years.  

Some of the things I have learned it to:

• Decorate my checked luggage so it can be easily identified on the airport carousel.
• Decorate the back, as many times they dump them on the carousel back-side up.
• Print a copy of your passport/important papers and put them in a different bag than your actual documents.  That will help if you lose anything.
• Pack an extra garment in your carry-on in case your trip is delayed, and your luggage is not.

Then, my friend and I got to discussing a trick I really appreciate ... divide the packing between both checked bags, when possible.  She had never thought of this and was tickled to learn of the concept.

Basically - when traveling in pairs - I have been taught to:

• Lay everything out on the bed that needs to go into luggage
• Remove all the items that go into the carry-ons
• Split each person's items into two piles
• Try and ensure that each bag gets undergarments, pants/shorts, chargers, umbrellas, shoes, etc.  
• We try and split liquids, medications, and anything else that can easily be split.  
• We also try and split items in our carry-ons, just in case.  Things like money, lotions, snacks, etc.  

On the way back home - we do this for souvenirs and important things.  

We do our best to try and ensure that if the worst happens, it will not be a total loss.

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Political Ads & Things I Didn't Know

I saw a video news article on TV the other day. The station was explaining that they could not fact check political ads if the candidate was legally qualified to run for office and the ad was candidate sponsored. They could not refuse to sell ad space to a candidate, or a committee-to-elect even if they knew the ad was false or went against their station's policies.  

The gentleman who managed ads for the station stated that they are allowed to fact check medications, company claims, groups, etc.  They can refuse to air an ad if it goes against the station's policies or is deemed untrue. But the ability to manage political ads in the same manner is not allowed. He stated that the station is also required to give political ads the lowest price for the ad time.

I found this so surprising.  I had never realized this before. I did some research and found that this is true (FCC Political Programming and FEC Advertising and Disclaimers).

This made me wonder how we ever really know what is true and not true in any political ad we see on TV.  I figured I would try and put my google searching skills to work.  I fell down a deep rabbit hole trying to find a non-bias place to determine facts from fiction.

I hoped to find a few websites that would fact check political ads and quickly ran into issues.  Most received ratings of about 3 out of 5 stars. You really had to deep dive to figure out how they were funded and who was doing the fact checking.    

I switched gears and tried to find an easy-to-follow voting record list for politicians.  Again, I admit that I was not as lucky as I had hoped to be.  The sites that show this are somewhat convoluted.

I discerned that there was no perfect way to scientifically fact-check politicians using data or finding a non-bias source.  It takes a concerted effort to find the truth and determine what a politician is doing to help their constituents.  

While this blog did not pan out the way I had hoped it would when I started it, I now truly understand how easily voters get misinformed and confused. I comprehend that making a truly unbiased/informed decision was harder now than I ever expected, given the ads/website/blogs/tweets/etc.

Even though I didn't find a magic answer to share with you all, this fact-finding search did remind me (as I read through articles on politics) that no matter what your political views - all citizens should appreciate the right to vote and take the responsibility seriously.  Politicians can control our personal lives more than I think many of us appreciate. Doing some legwork to ensure you have investigated your candidates to the best of your ability is worth the effort.

Listed below are a few of the sites that I dug into, just as a reference for this blog. (I do not support the use of them or verify their information.)

• Senate Votes
• Congress Votes
• BallotPedia
• PoliticFact
• FactCheck.org
• AP News
• AllSides News

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Two-Minute Rule

Lessons Learned - Reorgs and Layoffs

I have been through various reorganizations and layoffs. I have been laid off.  I have been moved into new areas without getting a say-so in the change.  I have had executives laid off and had to report to new executives.  I have had to watch friends get moved around to teams they were not crazy about, and some were laid off.  I have had to listen to the calls while supervisors told people they were laid off or changing roles.  I have had to work on the HR reports during the reorgs, knowing how the checks in a column would change people's lives.  I have had to work with executives to determine where the checks should go.

Trust me, there is nothing easy about any of it.  Through all the different phases I have experienced, I have learned a lot.

• It is very hard being the one affected. You feel you have done something wrong and are being punished. It is hard to understand how the "higher ups" could do this to you. 
• It is equally as hard to be the one checking the columns that change people's lives. The "higher ups" know that humans with families, bills and responsibilities are behind each change. They realize that some people really love what they do and took the job because they wanted to work with so-n-so, but that is no longer an option.  The people making decisions feel guilt, frustration and anger along with the affected people.  
  
• If you are "lucky" enough to stay where you are, you suffer from survivor's guilt. You wonder why good people were let go or moved to other areas and you are staying where you are.  You worry they will despise you.
• The uncertainty and stress of it all is unbearable at times. It is hard to stay positive and not get dragged down by overthinking the possibilities.
• There is never a good time or way to process these changes.  If they happen too fast, you feel unprepared.  You feel they rushed the process, and it won't have been truly thought out correctly.  If the changes happen too slowly, you feel the company is hiding something or leaving you in limbo. If they let you know the change in the morning, it hurts because you just started working that day.  If they contact you at the end of the day, you wonder why they made you work all day.  If they immediately let you go, you wonder why they didn't trust you to finish up important work.  If they ask you to stay to complete work, you wonder why they are making you stay.  If it is before a holiday, it ruins your holiday.  If it is after, you feel they should have done it before so you could have known going into the holiday.  It is truly a no-win situation.

I have also learned some positive and helpful lessons - that I use to survive all kinds of life's "tragedies", not just work changes.

• Stay positive. People will notice and respect you for it.
• Don't get involved in the gossip.  It will add extra stress to your world that will not help you.
• Don't create a horrible story in your head to fill the void of information.
• Make a game plan. You will feel better having a plan A, B, and C.
• Take stock of what is important.  If staying is a goal, then work to make that happen. If changing teams would help, try and position yourself to get to that new team.  If leaving would give you peace, ensure that people realize you wish to go. 
• Keep busy. Look for other projects, people or teams to help.  Keeping busy makes the waiting a lot less burdensome.  
• If you forced to change in some manner, realize that the new adventure coming your way will probably be better than where you were.  Embrace the change and learn from it.  
• Have a rainy-day fund.  The peace of mind knowing that money will not be an extra burden during trying times is a godsend.
• Engage your social circle to help keep you grounded.  The distraction of their lives also helps remind you that other things are going on around you and it is not all about the change you are experiencing.
• Keep your ego out of it.  Change is not a personal attack.

Business is business and change is change.  Almost all businesses will reorg and do layoffs at some time or another. Everyone's life faces unexpected changes.  There is no way to escape change, but there is a way to come out the other side in a better place.

I have really only had one change that I felt was truly "wrong". So, I used my plan B and C and made a change that suited me better.  It worked out beautifully. The others changes all seemed hard or somewhat wrong at the time but ended up being positive new adventures. I have been very blessed and I plan to continue to be blessed when the next change comes my way.

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Enjoying Life

Be a tourist in your own town

I enjoy vacations and traveling.  I love getting to see new sites and get my passport stamped. John and I find it thrilling to explore new cities and engage in new adventures.  

Honestly though, we seldom really play tourist in our own town.  Shame on us.  

St Louis and the surrounding area has so much to offer.  We do the occasional zoo day, see a play, walk around Main Street St Charles or visit a new restaurant. But overall, we don't really do all the great touristy things available in our area.  We haven't been the aquarium, some of the wineries, the History Museum, etc.

This year, John suggested that we try and do more tourist things in our town. I am pleased to share that we have already made some progress.  We walked around the Central West End, saw the Van Gogh exhibit, strolled the Delmar Loop and visited the Art Museum. 

We plan to continue the trend and see a lot more of what our city/county has to offer. It is exciting and we are enjoying not only time together but seeing and learning new things.

Added bonus: spending money, locally, can only help the town I call home.

I hope that you are finding a way to enjoy the town you live in.  If you are not taking advantage of your local attractions and helping support the place you call home, I hope this makes you think of doing more around your town.

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Lessons learned from my broken wrist

At the end of March, I fell getting out of the hotel shower while on vacation. I broke my wrist. Luckily, it was my left wrist, as I am right-handed. I always sort of figured my left hand was not as "important". I have been amazed at how many things in this life require two hands.  

I have learned so much during the start of this process.

• Clothing has way too many buttons, zippers, snaps, hooks and laces.  Thank God yoga pants are acceptable these days.
• Laundry is hard to hang up, fold and put away. And laundry baskets are impossible to carry down the stairs. Though dropping the basket down the stairs is easy (but freaks out the cats).
• Tucking socks together to put them in the drawer is tough, but unrolling them and putting them on is even tougher.
• Touch typing is really slow and requires a lot of thought. Apparently as a touch typist, I let my mind/hands just do their job without really thinking of capitalization, spelling, and punctuation. Just typing this blog has taken about ten times the amount of time I would normally spend crafting a post.
• The car's turn signal should be an Alexa option ("Alexa turn on right blinker").
• Lunch salads are impossible. Restaurants serve a ton of food that requires a knife and fork combo. Luckily, the appetizer menus have finger foods. My diet is suffering.
• Short hair is much easier to care for than long hair. But, still tough to color.
• Clipping and filing my fingernails seems so scary I am avoiding it for now and just letting my nails get longer and longer.
• Twisting off beverage lids/caps has me either begging for help, or drinking just water.
• And, last but not least, don't even get me started with going to the bathroom.

Overall, I am finding creative ways to do a lot of things. My husband, friends and family are all super supportive and help when I need it.  Yes, this sucks, but it could have been so much worse.  I feel blessed in ways I never thought of.

I truly have taken my left hand totally for granted.  I will never do that again!

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Who is my client?

When I worked as a waitress, it was easy to know who my client was... it was the patrons.  I lived off tips, so if they were happy, they tipped better, and I made more money.  Certainly, when I owned my own company, customers were my clients.

When I started working in offices, it became much harder to know who my client was.  A few of my first temp jobs were for sales companies.  We all worked to help the salesmen make more sales.  The clients were our customers.  Pleasing them was our main goal. So, that too was pretty easy.  

As I worked for different industries and got further into my admin career, the question of who my client was became harder to understand.  Usually, it was my boss/manager - the one that approved my pay increases and promotions.  Yet, this seemed harder and harder to decipher as my role became office manager / assistant / chief of staff / girl Friday.   Suddenly, I had a lot of bosses and no true "client".  

As I was cross-training to replace a lady who was retiring, she informed me that everyone in the office was my client. If they were all successful in their various roles, then I was successful, and the company was more successful.  It all trickled up and down.  She taught me how to look at them all equally, and prioritize based not only on title, but on necessity and urgency.  It was okay to tell your boss you needed to push their work to another day, if a co-worker's request was more urgent or would affect a greater number of people.   These concepts were very eye opening for me.

Now, I look at everyone as my client. My boss, her boss, their assistants, their project managers, the people in facilities that help keep us all safe and sound, along with all the other people that reach out to me each day.  I do my very best to treat them all as my most important customer - for when the prosper, I can feel good knowing I helped them a little bit along the way.

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The Four Agreements - Showering

A friend of mine gave me the book, "The Four Agreements" by Don Miguel Ruiz. I am finding it surprisingly fascinating and life changing.

First, let me share that I am not a good reader and I read slowly. I tend to get sleepy when I read an actual book. I love the concept of reading and the escape a book can provide. I enjoy audiobooks and go through them like crazy.

Second, I am not a consumer of "self-help" style books. Since I use books as an escape and I read slowly - I find that when I pick a book, I want it to take me away and not make me look inward. So, for me to pick up a paper back, self-help book was challenging.  I trusted my friend's advice, so I opened the book and began reading.

There are some fascinating concepts in this book. I will need to read it again, to fully digest all the information.

One part hit me at the right time and in the right frame of mind and has already changed things in my life. It is a little weird, but I thought I would share.

I was not a fan of showers. My hair dries slowly, and my skin is dry, so showering means planning.  I can't just take a quick shower and throw on clothes and go out. I need time to put on lotion and let it dry/sink into my skin. I need time to dry my hair. Showering is not a 3-minute process. I find that showering at night is best. But then I go out with friends/family and come home tired. The last thing I want to do is the routine of showering.

Then, I read this paragraph...

Doing your best is a great habit to have. I do my best in everything I do and feel. Doing my best has become a ritual in my life because I made the choice to make it a ritual. It's a belief like any other belief that I choose. I make everything a ritual, and I always do my best. Taking a shower is a ritual for me, and with that action I tell my body how much I love it. I feel and enjoy the water on my body. I do my best to fulfill the needs of my body. I do my best to give to my body and to receive what my body gives to me.

I had never thought about a shower being a way to tell my body I loved it. Showering as just a chore that I needed to check off my to-do list.  Now, I step into the shower with happiness. I realize that my body deserves this ritual. As I find more and more joy in showering, I am working to use this same thought process for my other "chores" such as brushing/flossing my teeth, cleaning my nails, shaving, etc.  

Embracing these routines as a way to show myself love is truly changing my daily life.

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Lesson Learned - Breakfast Casserole

Many years ago, a co-worker would bring in his delicious egg casserole for special occasions.  He lived close enough that it would still be warm when he arrived.  It was such a fantastic treat.  He would put in eggs, mushrooms, sour creme, sausage, cheese and sometimes some other ingredients for us.   

When I wanted to try and cut out carbs/fat (and stop eating pop-tarts for breakfast) ... he recommended that I make a smaller version of his casserole.  He informed me that I could cut it into squares and then heat up a square every morning for breakfast.  

Fast forward to now.  I still make a breakfast casserole.  I bake it in a square glass dish.  I cut it into blocks.  I slide those blocks into slices each and put them into a Tupperware container that works perfectly.  Each morning I pull out some slices and microwave them in a smaller Tupperware container.  It works well and I get a nice hot breakfast each morning, without a whole lot of fuss.   

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What you hear is not what I hear

Many of us played the game "telephone" as a kid (or as a communication exercise at work).  Telephone is where you tell someone a statement, and everyone has to pass it along to another person.  The last person in the chain has to share what they heard.  The beginning statement and the ending statement are never the same. We each hear things different and then put our spin on it when we pass it along.  

Some classes I have taken over the years have also shown me how my life experiences change the way I process things each and every day.  I put my spin on what I see and what I do, based on what I have seen and done in the past.

The other day I was watching a film called "Flipped".  It is a romcom based on two grade school kids and how they view their relationship.  It was really interesting the way they showed how each person's view of the exact same event.  

This movie reminded me how important it is to remember (every day) that:

• The way people share information with me depends on how they interpreted the original information.  
• The way I hear or process information, is based on my past experiences. 
• If I share the information, the people I share it with will bring their biases and perspectives to what I share.
• You never know the way people's pasts are affecting the way they are responding to you.  
• If you see someone acting "out of character" in a certain situation, remember that something in their past might be causing the issue; or, something in your past may be affecting the way you are reading the situation.  

No matter what, if you feel that someone might not understand what you are saying or why you are acting the way you are acting, discuss it with them.  Ensure what you are explaining is really what they are hearing and understanding. Be aware that the way you think you are acting might be seen differently by everyone around you.

In all things, give each other grace.  Everyone's past is different, and we all have different biases and beliefs that we bring to everything we hear, say and do.

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Lessons Learned - Dinner Prep

A few years ago my sister shared a secret with me about dinner prep.  Since you all enjoyed my tip on butter patties, I thought I would share a tip on hamburger for dinner prep.

I usually bought four pounds of hamburger at a time.  I would divide it into single pounds, wrap each in tinfoil and freeze them.  When we were making something with hamburger, I would need to remember to thaw out the burger and then either make patties or fry it for something like tacos or pizza.  

One weekend, I had my sister and her husband over for pizza. I was frying the ground beef when they arrived.  She asked why I didn't just fry up a few pounds at a time, and then freeze the frozen pounds in freezer bags.   

Wow!  

Sort of like the butter suggestion... I was stunned I had never thought of it.

Now, I take the four pounds and fry up three pounds - or even all of it.  I split the fried hamburger up and freeze each individually. I have a large frying pan with deep sides, which allows me to do this all at one time. It makes it so easy at dinner time.  If we decide to make tacos, I defrost the fried beef and quickly make tacos.   

It really is a true time saver and makes throwing together that meal after a long day at work, much easier.  Thanks sis!

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Lessons Learned - 2021

Another year on the books. Wow... how time flies.  

There have certainly been some frustrating and annoying issues around 2021.  Covid, no vacation, politics, cancelations of events, etc.  Yet, overall, I feel extremely blessed for 2021. I was lucky enough to land a promotion and join a new team. I was able to visit more with family and friends. I was able to throw some parties and enjoy my family and friends for the holidays. I bought a car and some furniture.  John continues to enjoy his job and joined another band.  My family and friends stayed out of the hospitals and generally healthy. Even the cats stayed healthy and playful.

I looked over the Lessons Learned 2021 blog to see if anything changed. I realized even more how very blessed I have been in 2021.  

From my 2020 recap... "Here are the things I learned in 2020 (in no particular order)."

• Friends and family are essential.   Even more true in 2021.
• Getting to touch base with my family and friends took on a special meaning this year. I have always tried to appreciate my friends and family, but this year, I realized just how truly important they are to me. I am grateful for any time I get to spend with them, any note I receive from them, or any time I get to talk to them. Not seeing them all regularly made our get-togethers even better.
• Being outside is awesome.   Still extremely true in 2021.
• I have always needed fresh air and sunshine. This year, I realized that the more I got of both, the better I felt. I learned to embrace long walks in the park. I loved my time on the patio with John. Just taking a drive with the top down made me smile.
• People are clever.   Still true and now I have found even more fun videos to share.
• I was never a big YouTube watcher, but this year, I loved watching the clever skits and songs people created to help make us smile. Cat videos, squirrel obstacle courses, mashups, and the Holderness Family kept my mood positive. There were also so many fantastic websites showing pictures, memes, and sharing knowledge.
• I am okay.  Luckily, still true.  I learned to color again, painted my critters and finished embordering my blue jean jacket.
• Normally, I kept so busy that I never really had to spend much time with myself. This year, I have learned to spend a lot of time with myself. I am no substitute for dinner with a good friend or close family member... but I am decent company.  I can sit alone and not go crazy. I can be reflective and stay positive. I can complete puzzles and get joy from the accomplishment. I can read on the porch or just watch the birds at the feeders.  I can find joy in the peacefulness.
• A good job and co-workers should be celebrated. Even more true this year.  My co-workers and teams have really helped my mental health and I am enjoying learning so many new things.
• I am always grateful when I am lucky enough to have a good job and kind co-workers, but this year has really sharpened my thankfulness. Early in the pandemic, I feared for my job. My co-workers and supervisors gave me peace of mind and showed me that they appreciated me. They found a way to keep me on staff. It meant so much to me. I appreciate having something to do to fill my days. And, the support I receive from all of my teammates helps make the days brighter.
• My cats fill me with joy.  Still extremely true.  In fact, they are becoming so used to us being home all the time, that when we actually spent a day walking Main Street or at a festival, they seemed to actually miss us.
• It is almost like our cats know we were struggling this year. They seem more playful. They seem more willing to sit on my lap and just enjoy the quiet with me. They serve as good co-workers and spend their days sleeping in my office. 

I hope you regard 2021 as a positive year and can find many reasons to feel blessed. And, I truly hope that 2022 is an even better year for everyone.

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Butter Patties

As I made my lunch today, I thought of this helpful little hint.  Butter patties.

I was making eggs and rice.  I usually like to put a butter patty in the rice, to help keep it moist when I add the scrambled eggs.   

Years ago, John had the excellent idea to pick up a butter slicer and butter dish at a garage sale.  This allows me to slice up the butter stick, making it very handy to grab a square when I need one.

The process is simple and very easy:

• When I am done with a stick of butter, I unwrap the new one and leave it sitting on the bottom part of the wrapper.
• I slice the stick onto the wrapper.
• I flip over the butter and push the butter patties through the rest of the slicer, pushing them onto the butter dish bottom - using the wrapping paper as a way to push the butter through cleanly.

Then, I just remove the final side of the wrapper and I have a nice row of sliced butter patties sitting in my butter dish.

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I am proud of you

When is the last time you told someone you were proud of them?  Honestly proud of them?

I know we all occasionally get kudos from others. These certainly make our day brighter. After all, it feels good to be appreciated. We all enjoy having our egos stroked now and then.

I know we also all give compliments to loved ones and strangers.  These make people smile and bring joy.

But, how often do we really look at someone and say we are proud of their accomplishment?  

It seems that people don't use this phrase much, and yet, it holds such power.  When I received my current promotion, my parents both told me they were proud of me.  I know they really meant it. It meant to world to me to me hear them say it.  They are always very loving and very supportive. They compliment me and encourage me.  But, hearing they were proud of me made me realize how much more powerful that statement is.  There is something about making some proud that is extra special.

So, the next time you are truly proud of something someone else did, consider saying that to them.  Don't just tell them they did a good job or congratulations, tell them you are proud.  It is amazing how much it will mean to them.

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What is Power?

Over the last month or so, I have had dozens of different conversations (with a large variety of people) around power. Who has power? What is power?  Does power corrupt?  Can power be useful?  I feel like the concept of power has crept into my thoughts more in the last few weeks than in the last year.  So, I thought I would share.

First, sort an overview of the conversations I have found myself involved in.

• Politicians have too much power and use it unsuccessfully. 
• Co-workers don't have enough power.  Executives have too much power.
• My peers wish I had less power, so they can have more.
• Partners and spouses don't have equal power.
• Kids/teenagers have too much power now that they are always the center of people's daily lives.
• Squeaky wheels have too much power.

While many of these I have had first hand knowledge of and I could lend my thoughts to the conversations, some of these discussions were entirely theoretical on my part. I can share with you some of my thoughts/observations:

• Almost all of us agreed that each political party is using their power to further their own agendas. Politicians are no longer working on the best way to improve the overall well being of the citizens, but instead, just working to ensure they are  re-elected.  
• Power on the job is very tricky.  
• Decisions honestly cannot be made by huge committees or nothing would ever get done.
• Someone at the top must make decisions and the people under them must make them work.  
• Or, people at the bottom must explain why a decision needs to occur and then management must work to make it happen.  
• Once the decisions have been made, all employees should trust each other and  should be given the power to make the situations work, as best as they can. 
• All employees should be working for the betterment of the company as a whole; realizing that sometimes not everyone gets exactly what they want.  
• Companies need to also work for the betterment of the employees and understand that some profit might be lessened, to ensure the workforce stays engaged and strong.
• Power should be used for making things better, not covering back sides or guarding  kingdoms.
• In relationships, I do believe that one person does seem to have more power than the other one.  In all honesty, people allow others to have extra power in relationships.  I consider it compromise.  The partners have come to an understanding of what they are willing to put up with, to make it all work.  Looking at relationships from the outside, it might seem that they are very lopsided.  That is their arrangement; it should not be for us to judge.
• Since I have no kids of my own, I can't speak to this one. 
• Squeaky wheels are definitely a power issue.  I do believe that groups should stop allowing the loudest voice to have the most power.  Sadly, I don't think this will never change.

I am powerful enough to take the lead when needed.  I am confident enough to allow others to take the lead and support them in their endeavors. I can admit my mistakes and my failures, knowing they don't define me. I am strong enough to know that I am doing a good job, even if not one compliments me.  I am smart enough to understand that not all things revolve around me and that I don't need to be involved in every outing, conversation or decision. I also understand that being powerful doesn't mean I have to be a bully. I never need to belittle someone to strip them of their power.  

Personally, it is distressing that sometimes my power has caused people to want me fired or wished I would fail. That friends stopped calling me and family found me frustrating. 

But, in the end, I am powerful enough to realize that usually it is not actually aimed at me. It is often that the other person feels a lack of power, which is making them afraid and unhappy.  

I enjoy my inner power. I hope you also enjoy yours.

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Lesson Learned - Party Ideas

I have spoken before about my love of hosting parties.  Sometimes, just having family and friends over for a BBQ or a pizza making party is enough.  But, sometimes you want to have a theme or reason for having a party.  This allows you to do some special setup or buy that decoration you have had your eye on.  Over the years, I have had a lot of different parties and all of them have been fun.  They have allowed John and I to test our hosting abilities... and allowed my guests to enjoy different food, drinks and games.

Here is a list of many of the parties we have held. I hope this helps if you are planning a party and need an idea.

• Anniversary party
• Baby Shower
• Birthday party
• Bridal shower
• Celebrity / Texas holdem tournament
• Chili cookoff contest
• 
  Christmas party
• Fourth of July celebration
• Game night
• Halloween party
• Happy hour
• Mardi Gras celebration
• New Year's Eve ball drop party
• Open house celebration
• Remodeling party
• Scavenger hunt
• St Patrick's Day corned beef bash
• Super bowl party
• Total eclipse viewing party
• Wedding shower
• Yard games event

As I put this list together, I realize how blessed I am.  We have had a lot of fun over the years.  I have been lucky to have a great social group of friends and family.  I have been fortunate to be able to afford to host these sort events.  And, most of all - I am truly honored that people want to share their time with me and John.

I can't wait to see how this list grows in the future. 

If you enjoyed this post, please check out:

Lesson Learned - Party Hosting

I am thankful for...

Life Balance

On a webinar the other day, the speaker discussed life balance.  I hear a lot about work/life balance and it always sounds like it should be a daily thing, which we should all strive for.  I sometimes get very frustrated that I can't successfully balance work and life.  It seems like the impossible dream.

She presented it as more of an overall yearly process, or long-term process. 

For instance:

• If you know you are going on vacation for a few weeks, you will have to work hard before and after, to enjoy the time off.  This balances out.
• If you have some health issues or various doctor appointment, maybe you spend a little less time at work or with family.  Once the need for health-related time lessens, you can devote more time back to family and work.
• If you need to be more involved in your spiritual growth, maybe you lessen your commitments to your friends.

This seemed so simple, I was stunned I hadn't really thought of it this way before.  

Now, when I look at my life balance as a larger picture, it feels much more balanced. I work a lot, but I also enjoy time with family and friends.  I take time for my health, which sometimes means taking time off work or being away from family on the weekend.   It really does balance out more than I realize.

If you enjoyed this, please check out some of my other blogs:

Hobby … What is a Hobby?

Decluttering … The project I have learned to love

The secret to life … better notes

If You’re Leaning…

If you’re leaning, you’re cleaning.  How many times did a parent, teacher or boss tell you this?

My first job out of high school was working in a restaurant. My boss loved that line. If we were standing, waiting for an order, we could be wiping down the counter or refilling water pitchers. As I moved to working in an office environment, I sort of lost this concept.

Jump ahead a few years.  I am sitting in a time management class and the instructor says the same thing.  He is saying we can knock out small tasks and chores, while waiting for our cup of coffee or walking through a room.  He says that using this small amount of time, we can help make larger chores and tasks, much less painful. (Note, I did discuss this a little in my blog, “Two-Minute Rule”, if you feel like you have heard this concept before.)

How do I use this concept to my advantage these days? Here are a few examples.

• I am making coffee, and leaning against the counter. My breakfast dishes are soaking in the sink. I can stand there and daydream and these dishes will still be here later in the day, with lunch dishes added.  Now the chore will take longer and who wants to look at a sink full of dishes.  Or, I can use the coffee brewing time to throw the items in the dishwasher.  Easy and quick win.
• I am walking around the yard, pouring bird seed from the bag, into the feeders. While walking back to the garage to put up the birdseed, I see a stick in the yard.  I can leave it and then spend 30 minutes this weekend picking up all the sticks.  Or, I can pick up the stick and toss it in the yard waste can and then return the bird seed cup to the bucket. If I do this each time I feed the birds that week, I can save myself about 10 minutes this weekend picking up sticks.  I can use that 10 minutes to sit on the porch and enjoy the sunshine.
• I am waiting for my soup to cook for lunch. Again, I can stand and daydream. Or, I can use that time to clean the cat box and give them fresh water. 

I am using oversimplified examples, I know. But, if you are like me and hate wasting time doing chores, shaving a few minutes off each chore or doing them while waiting for something else, helps make them seem less intrusive to my days. This gives me more time to spend with friends, family or cats, which is a much better use of my time.

Being a friend takes work and commitment

For some reason, I think most of us believe that being friends should be easy. You almost immediately know when you have made a new friend. You instantly find a straightforward way of communicating. It is effortless.

Yet, as time goes by, we realized that maybe it is not so effortless and we let friendships die a slow death.

Shame on us. Everything is life takes work, sometimes hard work. A good marriage takes a lot of hard work, compromise, communication and forgiveness. Staying healthy takes eating right, seeing doctors and dentists, working out, and getting enough sleep.  Having a nice place to call home takes cleaning, maintenance, and upgrading. We understand this and we make the commitment to do these things because the investments are worth the rewards we receive.

Shouldn't friendship also be worth it? Just because a friendship was super-easy in the beginning, does not mean as time goes by, you don't have to put in the work. 

If you are lucky enough to have a good friend, nurture that relationship. My friends give me so much joy and support. I can't imagine my life without my my friends. I am blessed to have them be a part of my life.

If you haven't worked on your good friendship(s) in a while, you should consider:

• Sending them a note for no reason, letting them know you care.
• Thanking them for sharing their time and energy with you. They could share it with anyone... and yet, they chose you.
• If they are going through some hardship or problem, check in on them often.
• If things are going well for them, check in on them randomly.
• Ask them to dinner or drinks or a walk in the park. They should not always have to do the asking.

It takes effort for all the great things you have in your life. Treat your friends the way you would other important things. The rewards are amazing!

Your stuff should bring you joy

A friend of mine called me to her house the other day.  They were having the house painted and she wanted my advice on what to hang back on the walls and what to change.  She had a shelf of cups/saucers that she thought maybe should be boxed up.  For as long as I can remember, that shelve has been 100% used for cups/saucers.  I said that she could pull a knick-knack from another room, and put that on the shelf.  Keep maybe two to three of her favorite cup/saucers on the shelf and maybe put one or two sets elsewhere in the house. She wasn't sure, as she felt they belonged together.  She wondered if it would look strange to have them scattered around the house.  I told her that the things she sees around her house should bring her joy.  Didn't matter if that meant your house was not perfectly decorated.  Like items didn't need to be grouped together.  Joy was more important.

This conversation made me realize how often we modify our stuff to look "correct" for our guests. Or, what we think will look right from the eyes of others.  Why do we do this?  We should be embracing the stuff that brings us joy and make sure they are front and center in our daily lives.

To this end, I pulled a few old toys from my keepsake box and put them in my office.  I put some of my flamingo items in my bathroom, even though the bathroom is decorated with a Paris-theme.  I added a fun bird pillow to my office guest chair, that totally doesn't match anything else in the room, but brings me joy when I look at it.

I am guessing, that when I have friends over, they might look around and think "wow... she has no decorating style."  Honestly, I am okay with that.  I know in my heart that they won't stop being my friend or stop coming to my house because my style is weird.  I know they probably won't even say anything about it.  And, if they do, I will tell them that I am surrounding myself with joy and give them a big smile.   

So, if the stuff in your house doesn't bring you joy... it is time to replace it.  Or, if the stuff that brings you joy is hidden from your daily view ... move it.  Everything doesn't have to be perfect or matchy-matchy.  Embrace the "joy" concept and see how much more you enjoy spending time in your rooms.

If you enjoyed this post, please check out some of my other posts:

Life Shapers

My journey to be “Smiley” again

Exorcising school-age demons

I listen to a lot of audiobooks. Most of them are murder mysteries that are included with my Kindle Unlimited account.  It is amazing to me how many of these star people that return to their home town and face their demons (while solving a murder or being investigated for the murder).  They face their grade school and high school nemesis while dredging up various memories of their past.

And, as some of you that follow my blog posts might remember, I wrote a blog post regarding my picture / keepsake box project.  This made me confront pictures of some people I treated badly and some that treated me badly.  It is weird how keepsakes can cause good and bad memories to creep back into your consciousness.  

We all have demons from our past that haunt us. Most seem to come from being school-aged.  What amazes me is how long we can carry these feelings and how they shape our lives far into adulthood.  

If I could go back to my young adult self, I would ask her to exorcise her school demons much earlier.  I would tell her:

• Growing up is full of social situations that go sideways.
• Most bullies were very scared children, that lashed out to help ease their own pain.
• I was bullied, but I was also a bully - depending on the situation and the children involved..  
• All of us were insecure and scared of making mistakes.
• The popular girls and boys did not always lead the magical lives we thought they did.
• Almost every time I thought people were talking about me, they probably weren't.
• My fashion sense (or lack there of) meant absolutely nothing to anyone but me.
• Having the perfect book binder, book bag or other gadget did not make me a better person, friend or scholar.
• Fretting over everything brought me nothing but upset stomachs; fretting never changed the situation.
• People don't always act out of hatred or malice, even if it seems that way. Children can be cruel, but seldom mean it as badly as we take it.

As I have listened to the audiobooks, many of the characters come to realize that their school mates were not as bad as they thought.  They were battling their own demons.  Many characters figure out that the memories they had been carrying for so long, were not even close to the reality of the situation(s).

During my own walk down memory lane I realized that at times, I really was the bully. I said and did hurtful things. I saw situations wrongly. I reacted badly due to ignorance or pride. I also allowed others to hurt me because I was unsure of my own inner strength. 

I came to understand that it is more than time to let it all go. I apologize to anyone I might have hurt along the way. I hope that anyone I did hurt, has realized that I didn't mean it and I certainly never wanted to scar anyone for life.  I forgive anyone that hurt me; the scars they left have healed.

I am sure we all wish we were better as children, but I believe it is a part of growing up and finding our way in the world. It is time to just enjoy the person we have become and thank that younger self for surviving it all. It is time for healing, forgiveness and understanding.

If you enjoyed this post, please check out some of my other blog posts:

Stop fretting over your decisions

People are People